Asian people are so cute when they're angry

No offense meant by that title if you're an American of Asian descent. I'm referring to the actual continent of Asia, which is responsible for nearly every war in the last fifty years. In the words of Kyle (or was it Stan?)- "Asian culture has plagued our fragile planet for many years. We must end it." And then Mr. Garrison said, "Excellent. A-."

So anyway, it appears that China is getting all pissy with Japan. I'm not gonna bother to link, go to any major news website and you should be able to find all the latest. It's actually been going on for a few days, but I just heard about it this morning (hat tip to RWD, with the News Roundup). China wants Japan to 'fess up to all the mean nasty things they did in WWII. Japan wants China to shove it. And somehow the question of whether or not Japan should have a permament seat on the UN Security Council became a factor. Or maybe that's where it started.

Anywho. Let's take these issues one at a time. China is annoyed because some Japanese textbooks don't give enough reference to the atrocities committed by the Japanese during World War II. Now, this is probably a first, but I actually agree with the Chinese here. The Japanese managed to elevate themselves to "Super-Nasty" level between 1931 and 1945, and put themselves on par with Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Saddam, Kim Jong-Il, Castro, Pol Pot, and various past leaders of half the continent of Africa. Everyone knows about the Holocaust and the horrendous treatment the WWII-era Germans offered their prisoners. What is less well known is that aside from a handful of death camps, a prisoner of the Germans was much more likely to survive than one of the Japanese. The Nazis performed terrible human experiments- so did the Japanese. In some German POW camps the policy was "work 'em 'til they die, and don't bother to feed 'em too much while you're at it"- but this was standard policy throughout the Japanese Empire.

So. The Japanese during WWII were evil. Horribly, despicably evil. And the Chinese bore the brunt of Japanese atrocities. Eighty American airmen bomb Tokyo, and a handful make it to China? No problem, we'll slaughter two hundred thousand of your citizens, because those downed airmen might've received a little aid. We finally take your (then-)capital of Nanking? We'll rape every woman we see. And from what I understand, Japanese history basically shows that things were okay up until the 1930s, then in 1945 Americans starting bombing cities for no particular reason.

I don't know if that's true- I've never read a Japanese history book. But I don't doubt it. And if Japanese textbooks show a tragically misrepresented history, well, it's your country, bub- and if you think misleading your people for the honor of your ancestors or whatever is the way to go, well, okay. But I would just mention that showing your citizens only the parts you want them to know about is a tried-and-true method of many world leaders. Like Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Saddam, Kim Jong-Il, Castro, etc... see where this leads?

So I suppose the Chinese sort of have a valid gripe there. Accountability, and whatnot. "Goshdarnit, these dirty neighbors of ours did bad things to us, and we want them to admit it!" Okay. If they apologize, will it change anything? It'd be nice, sure, but will it really make you feel that much better?

But take into account just who's doing the griping here. C-H-I-N-A. In case you didn't know, the People'sWho are you trying to kid? RepublicEvil Commie Dictatorship has the dubious distinction of being my least-favorite country. If any country in the world has no right whatso-freaking-ever to complain about other people not being truthful, it's- um... well, the other "People's Republic", North Korea. But with Saddam no longer in charge of Iraq, China's a close second. These guys keep over a billion people in the dark as to the reality of their country, and the world. And you want Japan to tell the truth about something? Puh-lease. First let's have the Chinese government admit to the world that it's tyrannical, that its people have no freedom whatsoever, and while you're at it, tell us just how many of your citizens were murdered under Chairman Mao. Then maybe we can talk about some silly Japanese textbooks.

I mean, c'mon- what do you think Chinese textbooks say? "China has always been the bestest country ever, but man, when Chairman Mao came along with the Great Leap Forward, boy, we were on top of it then!" Please. Stupid Commies.

As far as the Security Council? Well, who cares? When John Bolton becomes Chancellor and Dictator-for-Life over the UN, it won't matter very much, will it? But since we live in an imperfect world, where the United Nations, sadly, still exists, I'll answer the question.

The permament seats on the UNSC are the US, the UK, Russia, France, and China- the five major nations that won WWII. Great. Whatever. The USSR and China should've been kicked off immediately for being dirty lying Commies. (I mean, yeah, sure, Stalin's soldiers did the vast majority of necessary killin' that led to the demise of the German Army. But when he enslaved Eastern Europe after promising democratic elections, we should've told him to stuff it. Better yet, we should've said, "How very Hitlerish of you.") Russia should've been given a skeptical look after '91, but then when they decided to take Saddam's side in 2002, they would've been kicked out again anyway, along with France. So right now the UNSC should be us and Britain. Period. Oh, and maybe Israel. As far as Japan- well, it certainly appears that the reasons for eligibility to the UNSC are obsolete. What the heck, let 'em in. At least they're a democracy. Yeah, whatcha got to say about that, China? Huh? Not talkin' too loud now, are ya?

Punks.

Man, I hate Commies.

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