Stuff I Think You Should Know

Really Big Neat Happenings™, Part The Final!!!

2005-05-16T17:33:00.000-06:00

(cue triumphal music)

And the secret we've all been waiting for is...

SITYSK™ has moved!

Oh, yeah!

The BlogFather, CD, recently extended a saving hand to this poor downtrodden victim of the Bloggmonster. He ushered me into the Great and Wonderful land of Munuviana. After Pixy Misa issued me my green card to enter the world of MuNu, and Jim set me up with me new blog, I set about making it look the way I want.

And then for a while I worked on getting it how I wanted it.

And then I spent a little more time making it the way I want it to be.

...

...you get the hint. Get it? Hint? This is the cause of all the hints of late- they were leading you to the New and Improved SITYSK™- sitysk.mu.nu.

YEEAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!

Sorry, I'm just a bit excited. I'm a Munuvian! Woohoo! So. All you Loyal Readers™- that's where I'll be. All the Alliance members- got some new digs. All the people that keep coming here to read my rants on Anna Ayala- there'll be more over there. And that girl(s?) that keeps Googling things like "how to tell if a guy is into you"- uh, I think you're missing the point of this blog, but hey! I'll take all kinds. Over there.

Go. Read now. Me happy.

Really Big Neat Happenings™, Part The Fifth

2005-05-16T16:56:00.000-06:00

This should be the last hint. The Project™ is just about done... (seriously, this time...)

The hint goes like so:

The only thing I really have left to do is move over all the entries from the blog you're reading now.

There. No more hints! Ever! MUAH HA HAA!!!

If all continues to go well, I'll be able to make the announcement by this evening.

UPDATE: Um... did ya miss it? Scroll up.

Newsweek is dumb.

2005-05-16T11:28:00.000-06:00

Well, I s'pose I oughta chime in on this latest insanity that's captured the Hearts And Minds™ of the right side of the blogosphere. I don't intend to repeat what everyone else is saying, 'cuz I pretty much agree with them, but look. They keep saying they ran their questions past some unnamed member of SOUTHCOM (United States Southern Command, of which I happen to be a member). And that person didn't say anything.

...

Silence isn't compliance, morons. Not with something like this. If you came up to me and asked me some crap about Korans being flushed down the toilet (or anything else I'm clueless about), you're gonna get- and I quote: "No comment." If you don't leave me alone, you might get something like "Git outta my face, silly media ape," depending on what kind of day I'm having.

Would any sane person anywhere take that to mean that I have witnessed first-hand, or maybe even participated in, flushing Korans down the toilet?

...

(whispering)- we'll give the Media Apes a few more seconds to scratch their heads and grunt.

Answer: No. No, it wouldn't. Not at all. Morons.

Thatisall. (For now.)

UPDATE: Aww, how sweet. They've retracted the story.

Not good enough. Not any more. Let's see you out the idiots that wrote and published it. Then maybe you'll seem like you're sincere.

Really Big Neat Happenings™, Part The Fourth

2005-05-16T11:15:00.000-06:00

This morning's hint:

So far it's mostly shades of gray, with some blue thrown in. But that's 'cuz I'm not very artistic- that color scheme might not survive the final cut.

(cue theme from Jeopardy)

Really Big Neat Happenings™, Part The Third

2005-05-15T21:05:00.000-06:00

No hints right now. Too stinkin' tired to think of any.

(read: if I really work my butt off today, I can tell you about it before we run out of weekend.)

Well, I didn't work quite hard enough, I guess. I swear, it's getting close. Been rewriting HTML like I ain't got no sense.

Hmm- maybe that could pass as the third hint. Me tired. Me sleep now.

Really Big Neat Happenings™, Part The Second

2005-05-15T14:35:00.000-06:00

Ooh! Ooh! Second hint!

Nu.

The wonderful secret is almost ready to be revealed!
(read: if I really work my butt off today, I can tell you about it
before we run out of weekend.)

Really Big Neat Happenings™

2005-05-15T08:50:00.000-06:00

It's time for your first hint!

Mu.

That's it. No more hints.

...for now.

Don't fret...

2005-05-14T16:30:00.000-06:00

If things start looking really weird, I'm just messing around with stuff in preparation for the Really Big Neat Happenings™ that are occuring here this weekend. Stay tuned.

No hints yet!!!

UPDATE: The weirdness never really materialized, except for about five minutes this afternoon. But the Really Big Neat Happenings™ are underway...

...ugh...

2005-05-13T16:37:00.000-06:00

...almost... ...the... ...weekend...

...whimper...

i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...

...

Can ya tell I'm freakin' wore out? Doggoneit, I needed to save some bloggy energy for tomorrow! Major happenings in the World of SITYSK™!

...yeah.

HA! Busted! You horrible lying wench!

2005-05-13T13:31:00.000-06:00

Just go read it. I knew she was lying.

More later, maybe. I'm busy reveling in the fact that her lies are catching up with her.

(What the heck is he talking about?)

UPDATE: Holy crap, a lot of people are finding SITYSK™ from searches for Anna Ayala. (Still get a few for Anna Alaya too- same lady, believe it or not.)

Well, y'all, you will find that I have no respect whatsoever for that lady, but feel free to peruse th' ol' blog for rants on other stupid people, too. I don't just dislike Anna Ayala- I'm also openly biased against Jennifer Wilbanks, Idiotic Liberals, Mikey the Moore-on, Evil Terrorists, MS-13, Commie Dirtbags, and most of Europe. Feel the love.

Oh, there's people I like- it's just not as fun to write about them. Heh.

PSA

2005-05-13T11:22:00.000-06:00

Running six miles in the burnin' Central American sun is bad for you.

Well, I'm sure people will disagree with that. But this is my blog, where my insignificant, flawed opinions reign supreme. HA!

Three quick thoughts

2005-05-12T13:10:00.000-06:00

Things are happening in the world today. I must throw in my 2¢. Wait, does it make it 6¢, since I'm doing it three times? Wouldya settle for a nickel?

Anyway. Thing #1:

Tow trucks won't obey the stupid new Chrysler policy. (Y'know, this policy here?)

Good on them. I think that's friggin' hilarious.

Thing #2:

The cops in Australia have to deal with the same insane people we have here.

Man, she's lucky. If I was a cop and somebody- anybody- kicked and/or bit my partner, the first thing I would do is come across their face with my nightstick. Then I'd pull the gun and arrest them.

Argh. Sometimes I really hate people.

Hat tips on both: Fark

Thing #3: Just wanna send support and appreciation to my brothers-in-arms layin' the smackdown over there in western Iraq. Kill 'em all, fellas, and let God sort 'em out.

Things, they are a'changin', here at good ol' SITYSK™

2005-05-12T09:33:00.000-06:00

Hey everybody-

Not a lot of time for blogging yesterday. Or today. And tomorrow doesn't look real good either.

However- big fun surprisy things are in store. I'll probably be able to tell ya over the weekend sometime.

'Til then, no hints.

HA-ha!
(/nelson)

Heh.

2005-05-11T15:01:00.000-06:00

Keen. I'm the #1 Google search for "i like israel".

That makes me feel kinda special.

Today's (Second) Moment of Asininity™ brought to you by:

2005-05-09T14:07:00.000-06:00

One of the many Communist Campuses of California.

Apparently it's no longer PC enough to not want to know someone's sexual preference.

Odd.

I don't really have much to add than what Steve already said. I think the weight of all that politically correctness is gonna cause Cali to tip over into the Pacific.

Um, I don't have a Second Moment of Hilarity to balance this one out. If you need some more funny, IMAO has enough to go around.

Concert! Music! Fun!

2005-05-09T13:52:00.000-06:00

Hey, I just got an email from Angel over at aapavatar. (Oh yeah, now I know who to thank...) They've arranged a concert in support of the troops that you should check out if you're in the area (Marylandish). Should be a rockin' good time, yo.

Today's Moment of Hilarity™ brought to you by:

2005-05-09T11:18:00.000-06:00

Fark. Scroll down a ways, you'll see the "SPIFFY" tag next to (NPR.org), which will take you to this nifty story. It's cool that NPR has taken notice of Strong Bad, but that's not the Moment of Hilarity™. The funny was in the phrase "All things fhqwhgads". That one word, fhqwhgads, causes instant laughter to emanate from my person. Why?

Why, you ask?

I see you have not been enlightened.

Well, I think it's pretty friggin' funny.

There. I have managed to offset the Moment of Asininity™ with some funny. Much better.

UPDATE: An experiment. Observe. I /

Interesting. The upper-case, italicized letter I is nearly the same as a slash. Only when they're next to each other can one tell them apart.

This has nothing to do with anything, but I'm filing it away under Stuff I Think I Should Know. Might come in handy one day.

Today's Moment of Asininity™ brought to you by:

2005-05-09T10:59:00.000-06:00

Daimler-Chrysler.

I saw this nonsense this morning on CNN, but it turned up in my daily Fark sweep, so they get the link. It would appear that an automotive plant is blacklisting and punishing its employees for driving the wrong car.

Workers at DaimlerChrysler's Indiana Transmission Plant I and Plant II better allow more time to walk in from the parking lot if they drive Fords or General Motors vehicles.

Um, screw you, no. If it takes me an extra five minutes to cross the parking lot because of this crap, then I'll be five minutes late. If it's raining, my first stop after punching my time card will be the bathroom to dry off.

A new policy that takes effect Monday designates about 80 percent of employee parking spaces for Chrysler vehicles only and forces workers to park much further away if they drive a car or truck made by a competing manufacturer.

...I'm ashamed that this is coming from an American car company. I really am.

In case employees forget, there's new blue lines painted on the parking lot and signs that declare "DaimlerChrysler Parking Only" and "DaimlerChrysler Vehicle Parking."

I'm seeing vandalism waiting in the wings here. Graffiti can be fun.

Workers have been told that non-Chrysler vehicles parked in the reserved areas will be towed to Indianapolis at a cost of $200, the Kokomo Tribune reported Sunday.

Well, sure, that sounds fair. Um, wait, no.

Chrysler spokesman Edward Saenz said most Chrysler plants across the country have similar parking policies, but he did not know exactly how many. Both transmission plants have ample parking, and the new policy does not apply to vehicles with handicap plates, he said.

"It is a management initiative, but we believe it has wide support from the employees," Saenz said. "It's a local decision."

Did you check that data against the percentage of employees who don't currently own Chryslers?

Didn't think so. Bet you'll find that if 15% of your employees drive something else, then this policy will have 85% support.

The plants posted signs and painted the new lines about two weeks ago, he said. Employees began receiving non-compliance warnings last week leading up to this week's enforcement.

Nine-year employee Bill Parks considers the new policy "a form of harassment." He drives a Pontiac, made by GM.

Harassment, heck. Get this man a lawyer, wouldya?

"I think we have other issues going on in the company besides where to park your vehicle," Parks said.

Undoubtedly.

He isn't disabled but has a back condition that occasionally flares up. He bought his Pontiac as a second vehicle because he didn't want to go into debt with two new Chrysler vehicles. "I tried to find a good Dodge vehicle when I was buying this one, but I couldn't find one at the time," he said.

Obviously not good enough for The Big Boss Man.

Chris Koors said he has generally parked in an isolated area to avoid damage to his Chrysler truck. Last Thursday, he found it surrounded by non-Chrysler vehicles.

See, it's even screwing over the guys that do have Chryslers!

"They need to buy what we build," Koors said, gesturing toward the non-Chrysler vehicles.

In the 1970s and early '80s, when Chrysler was experiencing layoffs, Koors said his father, also a Chrysler employee, would describe foreign-made vehicles that were flipped upside down if parked in the company's parking lot.

Hmm... being from around Detroit, I can almost understand that...

"It's not about American made or union made, it's about our company," he said. "Drive what you build if you want your company to survive."

Go stand in the corner and think about what you just said. I worked at an A&W for two years. Loved the food there- but did I feel like a traitor if I went to Burger King?

I'm sure there's a few people there that refuse to buy Chryslers for purely spiteful reasons. But I'm willing to bet that most of the people that work there that don't own a Chrysler don't have much of a choice in the matter.

Listen, idjuts. I'm from frickin' Motown, where it's all about The Big Three. My dad worked for GM for fifteen years. I grew up indoctrinated with the idea that owning a Japanese car made you less of an American. I still carry a great deal of that to this day, as narrow-minded as that can make me at times.

I consider myself to be a Ford guy. My first two cars were Escorts. (First one was an old beater that Dad found for me and I paid for, second one was a hand-me-down from him- both purchased while he was designing chassis for GM. Hmm.) When I got married and we needed a car that wasn't well-worn like my beloved Escort, me and me wife (who is a diehard Dodge girl) bought a used Chevy Monte Carlo. Are we now "Chevy people"? No. It's what we could friggin' afford.

This policy is insane and ridiculous. You want your employees to drive your cars, fine. Make a reward or some kind of incentive program for employees that buy Chryslers. But you can't punish your employees for driving something else. This is America- we have that little thing called freedom of choice.

Idiots.

Bloggers in distress!

2005-05-09T10:02:00.000-06:00

Hey, do any of you Loyal Readers of the SITYSK™ live near Indianapolis? If so, then two of me fellow LCs could use your help. Mamamontezz and delftsman had some non-drivin' imbecile total out all three of their parked cars over the weekend. If anybody can lend 'em a hand, that'd be great. And if you see somebody driving around the area in an Oldsmobile with no grill, box him in and make a citizen's arrest. But don't kill him, at least not until delftsman gets the insurance straightened out.

If nothing else, keep them in your prayers. As Mamamontezz pointed out, if the cars hadn't have been there, there was nothing stopping the idiot from hitting the house. Sounds to me like the Lord was watching over them.

Just what the Sam Hill do you think you're doing?!

2005-05-08T09:58:00.000-06:00

Well? It's Mother's Day! Why are you sitting on your butt reading SITYSK™? I mean, I appreciate your loyalty, but the blahg will still be here tomorrow. Go grab your mom, and take her someplace nice. Go. Now.

...

For those of you that didn't immediately follow my advice, noticed that the post hasn't ended yet, and/or were curious, this will be SITYSK's™ First Annual Ode To All Mommies Everywhere.

To my grandmothers- thanks for my parents. 'Preciate that.

To my wife, at home raising the boys while I'm away- You have way more intestinal fortitude than I. I wouldn't be able to make it without you.

To my daughter, who'll be born in August- thanks in advance for all the future grandbabies that I'll get to spoil mercilessly and then give back.

To all the blogger/mommies out there that I'm aware of- (Michelle, Kate, and Kris)- this is your day. Take a bow.*

And, of course, I saved the best for last. To Mom- well, what more can you say for someone without whom you wouldn't be alive? Thanks, and luvya.

There! Enough SITYSK™! Go pamper your mommy!

...Go!

*- (whispering)- if you're a blogger/mommy and I didn't give you your props, lemme know, and I'll fix the situation...

(more whispering)- to everybody visiting from basil or debbye's blogs- didn't mean to scare ya off- feel free to poke araound... and then go take your mom out...

Victory in Europe

2005-05-07T20:50:00.000-06:00

There is some ambiguity as to what day V-E Day actually falls on. The Germans actually surrendered on the 7th, and it was made formal on the 8th- but interestingly, the agreed date for celebration was May 9th, which journalists amusingly farbled up. I'm kinda splitting the difference between the 7th and the 8th by posting real late on the evening of May 7.

Okay, fine, ya got me. I was gonna write this earlier but the creativity meter was low. Couldn't write. But it worked out, anyway.

Well, ~~today~~this weekend we celebrate the 60th anniversary of the fall of one of the most notorious, foulest, and most inhumane empires ever to fester on our planet. I can't decide whether to go on a lengthy rant about Nazism, to sing the praises of great generals like Ike and Patton, or to tell you all to go find a D-Day or Bulge veteran and shake their hand.

But I'll turn to Stephen E. Ambrose for help on this one:

V-E Day, 1945, was the occasion for the greatest outburst of joy in human history. Indeed, except for the Japanese and a few fanatic Nazis, everyone in the world was overjoyed. The end of the war was the single best thing that could happen to every person alive in 1945. ¹

And it remains one of the best things that's ever happened to the world, before or since. So- I'll keep this short and sweet, and give a big, hearty

THANK YOU!

to all the men of that Greatest Generation who fought and died in countless villages across Italy, France, the Low Countries, and Germany, so I can breathe free air today.

1- Victory in Europe: May 1945

From Americans at War
©1997 by University Press of Mississippi

...hello?

2005-05-06T19:55:00.000-06:00

So, I, uh, wrote this like, a week ago...

...asking the People™ for some quotes...

And I quote: heh heh... get it? ...quote? ...ahh, never mind.

Oh, and I decided to make a spot for Nifty Quotes™. But I don't have any yet. So, uh, let's have some quotes, eh.

So what's up? C'mon, this is your chance to have your name forever associated with SITYSK™- think what that could mean when I take over the world!

...or do I just lift random bits from comments that have already been left?

Hmm... feelings mixed...

2005-05-06T19:25:00.000-06:00

Well, I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or break out the M-16.

What the crap is this?

I'm not sure if I'm mildly amused at their insanity, righteously furious at their vileness, or saddened that people like this give the rest of America a bad name.

Too bad I don't get to pick and choose whose freedoms I'll defend.

Oh well... "It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them."
-Deuteronomy 32:35, NIV

Their day will come.

Hat tip: Emperor Misha

UPDATE: Interesting. The guy says he lives near Syracuse. Maybe I can hire CD to put out a hit on him...

Oops

2005-05-06T14:51:00.000-06:00

Hey, back last month when I was blog ging about the Wendy's Finger-in-the-Chili lady, I was misspelling her name.

Whoopsie.

I wondered why, at the time, I was getting mad hits for people doing searches for "Anna Alaya". I thought it was odd that with all the media coverage she was getting, so many people would be stopping by little ol' SITYSK™ to see what I had to say. Turns out they were simply misspelling her name in the search, and it was leading them here.

Well, for the record, her name is Anna AYALA. I still have zero respect for her, and I'm still waiting for word of her punishment, but I wanted to make sure I at least got her name right.

However, after much contemplation, I've decided not to go through the archives and change all the times I spelled her name wrong. After all, her alternate name has brought me much traffic. Heh.

Maybe in the future, if I want lots of traffic on someone, I'll just oopso their name a bit. Or is that too shady?

And now, for today's Random Thought™

2005-05-06T14:12:00.000-06:00

Hmm. As the ~~insurgency~~wave of terrorism seems to be in high gear this week, it got me thinking.

Maybe... this could be a valuable lesson for America.

I believe that one of the many things Americans learned from 9/11 is that evil is out there. Now, that's a whole different issue- first of all, I already knew that, and so did most rational Americans. Secondly, a great deal of Americans who learned that lesson in September '01 have obviously since forgotten it. But it was quite a wake-up call for mainstream America.

A lot of the people who are against the war, or maybe riding the fence, are doubtless the same people who think Israel is this big mean bully that likes to kill innocent Arabs. As anyone with common sense and a little knowledge of Middle Eastern history can tell you, nothing could be further from the truth.

Israel has been a nation for 57 years now. In that time they have suffered through three all-out invasions. At least three times they have been in a life-or-death struggle for independence. In between, there have been smaller conflicts, and of course, nearly continuous terrorist strikes.

Most Americans think the War on Terror began on 9/11. Incorrect. That is when the war was declared, by us- or maybe that's when we finally woke up and realized that the terrorists had been at war with us for decades. The USS Cole. The African embassies. The WTC bombing. Beirut. Khobar Towers. Mogadishu. Hundreds and hundreds of Americans had been killed to terrorism before 9/11- and in the feel-good era of the Clintonian '90s, they were screamed about on news networks for whole days. Days, I tell ya!

Well, all but the most insane of moonbats can now see that there are in fact terrorists out there who intend to do us harm. And they realize that, like it or not, we are at war. Against an enemy which mostly operates through single acts of bombing- whether done by suicide vests, car bombs, or IEDs. A whole lot of single acts of bombing, yes, but they are using the only feasible method remaining to them.

This brand of terrorism is nothing new. Not in the slightest. It may be new to a lot of Americans, but only if they haven't been paying attention. Arab Muslim terrorists have been using these techniques against Israeli soldiers and civilians for decades. Just like they do today, against the U.S. military and Iraqis trying to rebuild their country- it's the only method they have.

I don't think anyone saw the ~~insurgency~~terrorist uprising coming. We figured, take out Saddam, defeat his army, and do a little cleanup. Now, for all those that think democracies can just happen overnight- go back to your history books, it took the United States thirteen years. But nobody foresaw Paleswinian-style terrorism on a major scale.

So what I was thinking was this: Maybe- just maybe- if Americans who don't understand why Israel is constantly blowing up and shooting Palestinians, they should consider this scenario: American forces, still in Iraq, dealing with the same enemy. In 2060. That's 57 years after we moved into Iraq. How much patience do you think we'd have at that point?

Or how about this. The terror bombings we see daily on TV, here at home. Not just one isolated (horrible, yes- massive, yes- four planes, yes- but still just one) incident. Bombings every day. Your local police department, blown up. Your grocery store, blown up. The train you take to get to work, blown up. The car in front of you on the highway, blown up.

Would you be comfortable living in perpetual fear, never knowing if the place you happened to have the bad luck of being at was the next target? Nowhere, anywhere, ever finding safety? Not your home, not your car, not your job, not your church, not any place you choose to enjoy a little R&R? Movie theaters, sports arenas, restaurants, bars, anywhere?

D'ya think maybe then we'd get the hint?

People think the War on Terror started for America on September 11. Well, it started for the Israelis the day they became a country- and it hasn't stopped yet.

And now, it's time to get to The Point™. I realize that probably nobody who reads this blog has moonbattish or pro-Palestinian thoughts on Israel. But if you do, consider that awful possibility- that what they go through every day by virtue of being stuck in the Middle East could come here one day. Maybe just as 9/11 taught us that we're in a new world with new rules, the ~~insurgency~~bunch of morons with too much access to explosives can teach us to be a little nicer to Israel.

This concludes SITYSK's™ Whirlwind Of High Praise For Countries
That Don't Piss Us Off. (See previous post.)

Hey, if this entertained or enlightened you in the slightest, kindly visit the new site.

British Elections

2005-05-06T11:33:00.000-06:00

Nothing real surprising there, just figured that since I gave my 2¢ on potential outcomes, I oughta do a followup.

The elections turned out pretty much as expected. Tony Blair is still Prime Minister, albeit with a much slimmer party majority.

Random bits from the article:

...Conservative Party leader Michael Howard said he planned to step down because "I did not achieve what I set out to achieve." He said he would stay on until the party considers whether to change the rules governing the choice of his successor.

Can I take this at face value? I certainly wouldn't if an American politician said it. "I wanted to win, I didn't, the people have spoken, I'll retire after this." Is it as simple as that? If so, kudos to Mr. Howard. That's a lesson lost on American politicians- how to gracefully accept defeat. Or is that just Al Gore and John Kerry?

The battering Blair took over Iraq during the campaign suggested that any future British leader will probably be wary of backing Washington militarily in the face of hostile domestic opinion.

I certainly hope not. I am happy to count the U.K. as my country's closest and truest friend- constantly and consistently- over the last century. Kudos to Mr. Blair for doing what was right regardless of public opinion.

Reader's Digest a few months ago had an article about Bush and Blair- how they grew up in the footsteps of that great friendship between FDR and Churchill. How the alliance was continued between Reagan and Maggie Thatcher. And how America and Great Britain always, always go to bat for each other. There are a great many countries in the world that I am wary of, many more that I genuinely dislike. There are only three countries that I really admire- America, obviously; Israel, for putting up with endless terorism and refraining from turning the Middle East into a parking lot these last forty years; and the United Kingdom, for aforementioned reasons.

A politically weakened Blair... could find it difficult to persuade British voters to approve a proposed constitution for the European Union, which requires ratification by all member states.

You say that like it's a bad thing. I don't know his stance on this issue, but maybe he should tell them not to sacrifice their independence to the inContinent.

Gosh, look at the time. Gotta go to lunch. Anyway, that's what I think.

Today's Nifty Weird Thing is brought to you by:

2005-05-06T10:59:00.000-06:00

Funny Fun Pages.

Try this. I'm sure if you're a math whiz you'll see how it works, but for the rest of us, it's friggin' weird.

Help stop the Communist Party of the USAACLU

2005-05-05T10:31:00.000-06:00

Interesting... the ACLU wants Christian churches to pay taxes, but believes the tax-exempt status should remain in effect for other religions- namely, Satanists...

Good to know that they consider themselves to be acting in the best interests of the United States.

Hat tip: basil

UPDATE: Hooray for getting excited and linking before even reading the whole thing. This is a Blogburst (just now realized it). If what the un-American inCivil anti-Liberties Union- er, the Anti-Christian Lunatics United- um, whatever their name is- does to your freedoms bothers you, you should join in.

Keen!

2005-05-05T10:03:00.000-06:00

Happy birthday, La Shawn!

Worldwide Democracy in Action, Part Three Thousand and Sixty-Two

2005-05-04T18:35:00.000-06:00

Well, in a few hours the good citizens of the United Kingdom will wake up and go vote. I myself am very much a novice when it comes to the British electoral system, so this post will be based on conjecture and things I think I know but am not sure about. Now that we know what kind of shaky ground we're on here, I'll put forth some opinions.

The way I see it, whichever way the British vote, America wins. If they reinstate Tony Blair (as expected), then Bush gets to keep his steadfast partner in the War on Terror. If they vote Blair out, then the Conservative Party will be in charge, and I would generally view that as a good thing. I take issue with Michael Howard calling Blair a liar about the war in Iraq- but to be honest, it's quite literally news to me, as I just read it, just now, in the story I linked. So I don't know what's really going on there. It's just that when I hear accusations of lying about war flying around, it gives me flashbacks to idiotic moonbatted Dems last fall.

So. Go, fellow English-speaking believers in freedom and democracy, and choose your future. One thing I can promise you- as ignorant as I am of your political system, nobody at SITYSK™ (with our massive editorial staff of one) will ever mock your decision, even if we think it doesn't make much sense.* There won't be any of that crap some of your more... ignorant... citizens chose to spew after we showed the world we still supported President Bush. America is my country, and last I checked, the U.K. is yours. So of course I want what's best for America, regardless, but you guys pick who's best for you. Cheers, or something.

*- This promise is null and void if Charles Kennedy somehow becomes your new PM. When I see "Liberal", "Democrat", and "Kennedy" all together in a sentence like that, it makes me kinda queasy.

UPDATE: My take on the election results here.

Hey, let me shoot him, I'm not an Israeli

2005-05-04T14:45:00.000-06:00

Interesting interview. A FOX reporter meets with an aspiring terrorist.

Rafat Moussa Turkouman has a face you don’t want to forget.

Yeah, I'll be on the lookout for him if I'm ever in Tel Aviv.

He looks like your average 20-year-old, but this young Palestinian from Jenin was a member of the Islamic Jihad with dreams of becoming a homicide bomber and plans to blow up a bus in Tel Aviv.

How does one "dream" of blowing oneself up? The dream doesn't get past that point does it? Kind of a short dream. I'd dream about all the cool stuff I'd have to do before then.

[snip]

In the interview among tombstones in a local graveyard, the boyish, clean-cut young man with an easy laugh said he was willing to kill himself and others “because of the Israeli aggression against our people, the violence we watch on TV of them killing our children, assassinating our people.”

So are you aware that you've been completely brainwashed? Did they tell you about the 72 goats, too?

But the recent ceasefire in the region put Turkouman’s plans on hold.

Man, that's gotta be traumatic.

"Rafat, what you got goin' on this afternoon?"

"Well, Abdullah, I was gonna blow myself up, but this stupid cease-fire, man. Sucks. Let's go to the mall."

[snip]

FOX News asked Turkouman whether he was glad the brigade convinced him not to carry out a homicide bombing. He didn’t understand the question, but replied “yes” after some members whispered to him.

Turkouman didn’t seem able to think for himself. He barely understood FOX’s questions, even in his native Arabic, and the brigade commanders told him what to say. He appeared extremely vulnerable to peer pressure.

So he's a puppet (I would guess most suicide bombers are) and he lets others do his talking. What an influential guy.

But to the Israelis, Turkouman is a ticking bomb and should be diffused.

No kidding.

In the past, when the Israelis had intelligence about a bomber, they’d storm his hiding place in the West Bank to pre-empt the attack.

I love FOX. Reuters would've written that sentence like this:

"In the past, when the spies at Mossad thought some random Palestinian might be dangerous one day, the invading Israeli army would bomb his mosque, shell his town, rape his wife and murder his children. Then they'd arrest him."

Sorry. Just seemed like a good time to take a shot at the MSM. Moving on...

[snip] blah blah blah some terrorists are waiting to find out when they can kill women and children again blah blah blah [snip]

But what is particularly troubling is that Turkouman says he hasn’t abandoned his plan of conducting a homicide bombing if he gets the chance.

“If the ceasefire collapses, I will go for it again,” he told FOX News, laughing.

Well, the Israelis should put out an APB on this guy and demand that the Paleswinians arrest him and hand him over. It really is too bad they can't just shoot him right now, but a cease-fire is a cease-fire. What's really surprising is the terrorists are actually upholding it.

Well, if the Israelis can't shoot him yet, maybe somebody else can. FOX should've sent Melinda Hawkish. She'd have done the job.

More on The One That Got Away™

2005-05-03T09:23:00.000-06:00

Hey, now that more things are starting to come to light regarding the selfishness level of Jennifer Wilbanks, I was thinking up a good rebuttal to what I said the other day. Fortunately (since I have a lot to do today), Kate beat me to it, and said pretty much what I would've said anyway. So I can just be lazy and link to her. Go. Read now.

sweet

2005-05-02T17:28:00.000-06:00

Strong Bad is now in the business of selling Swiss Cake Rolls. Watch carefully, you'll see 'em.

Some babblings on Social Security

2005-05-02T17:03:00.000-06:00

Um- just how stupid are the Democrats? And how stupid do they think the average John Q. Taxpayer is? Bush tries to get it across over and over that the Social Security system is broke, and must be fixed. But the Dems have their heads in the sand- or else they're attempting to fleece 300 million people.

Look. I started working when I was fifteen. I already understood the concept of federal and state income taxes, so it wasn't a surprise when they were deducted. However (and my dad will still attest to this) I looked at my first check and said "Who the heck is FICA and why are they taking money out of my check?" Thus I was introduced to the world of payroll taxes. It didn't take me long to start asking questions about Social Security- I wanted to know that my money was at least being stolen for a good cause.

I would say I was probably sixteen when I realized the extremely obvious truth- Social Security will go broke. How can anyone not see that? Simple math- if it's barely holding its own with the baby boomers working, my generation starting to work, and the WWII generation being the retirees- how do you expect it to survive the retiring of the entire baby boomer generation?

If the baby boomers had been wise enough to ignore that "The world is overpopulated! We're all gonna starve!" crap, and had collectively decided to raise a generation with enough new young'uns (like myself) to replace the gap they leave in the workforce, Social Security would probably be just fine. But no. Or maybe if they hadn't murdered 40 million of their babies, some of those kids would be providing some sort of contribution to society now. But my generation now has the dicey problem of not being big enough to support all of our parents. So we're stuck (once again) with the crap we inherited, and we somehow have to support the baby boomers into retirement.

I don't have a problem supporting my parents (neither of whom are yet retired), or retirees in general. They've done their share. They worked until they couldn't go no more, and now it's my job. My pastor taught it like this: a person's life has three stages- learning (school-age), earning (workers), and returning (retirees). The workers- the people between twentysomething and fifty or sixtysomething- are the ones responsible for keeping the economy going through their work.

But the system as it is will die. If you know that in advance, and you do nothing, it's on your hands. I figured this out when I was a teenager. I figured out that when the baby boomers retire, the system will collapse. It's simple math. And people who are leading this country would try and tell me not to worry? Are you, Mister Been-A-Senator-For-Longer-Than-I've-Been-Friggin'-Alive, dumber now than I was when I was a punk kid? Wow.

I don't know the ins and outs of Bush's plan. I keep hearing people ramble on about how it involves stocks and bonds and all this complicated crap. I keep hearing that his plan will force us all to invest our money into accounts we know nothing about. Typical Democrap scare tactics. If they would pay attention for about a second and a half, they would hear the phrase "give the workers a choice to put some of their money in private accounts." This is one of the major differences between Right and Left- the Dems think the government should control everything. I mean, gosh, they were smart enough to get elected- they must be smart enough to know better than me how to handle my own money! Right? Right?

Uh, no.

Well, that's what they think. What do conservatives basically think? You earned it, you invest it as you see fit. Sounds reasonable- matter of fact, that's the only option I'm willing to discuss. If "being able to invest some of my money into private accounts" is the best I can get right now, well, so be it- for now. But I can't settle for anything less than "oh, you worked for this? Why don't you keep it?" And neither should anybody else.

I caught a glimpse of Scott McClellan dealing with a ~~press conference~~roomful of stupid reporters today. One of them brought up how everybody should be scared that Bush said the way SS works is basically a file cabinet full of IOUs. The reporter showed a remarkable lack of financial knowledge, and Scott showed remarkable restraint. Because that's exactly what it is- I ~~pay the government~~watch the government steal a significant chunk of my wages every two weeks, and they tell me they'll pay it back one day. Well, any fool can see the obvious- what President Bush shouldn't have to spell out to moronic Democrats- that if things stay the way they are, there's no way I'll ever get all that money back. Something has to change in order for me to get my money- either my kids and grandkids will be paying 75% of their paycheck to pay my Social Security, or the SS system must be drastically altered now. Twenty years ago would've been better, but since people didn't want to fix it then, let's do it now. Right now.

'Cuz it's real simple. I'm going to cash in on those "IOUs". Oh yes. I will be getting my money back. If the Dems want to undermine Bush (since he's apparently the first person with the cojones to try and fix this beast), then what'll happen is when I'm an old codger who wants to sit on the front porch all day hollering at kids, I won't have any money. And I'll say, "Hmm. I seem to recall Social Security taking X number of thousand dollars from me over the years, with the promise that I'd see it in my old codgerdom. But some conniving politicians made sure that wouldn't happen. I think I'll just mosey on over to their house and get my doggone money back, so I don't have to work until I'm 93..."

Yup. Might be what I'll have to do.

Now, I'm not saying I'll rob anybody, or break & enter somebody's house- I'm just saying I'm gonna get all my money back. All my money back.

This has been your rant on Social Security.

uh...

2005-05-02T15:21:00.000-06:00

...what?

And to think, MIT is where the some of the most intelligent people in the world attend school.

Well, they have a good imagination...

Hat tip: Fark

buh?

2005-05-02T14:00:00.000-06:00

Um, if the sidebar looks insane, ignore it.

UPDATE: All better.

UPUPDATE: Jacked up again. I've been trying to fix it, but the Bloggmonster is on crack today, and I'm having issues...

Awesome

2005-05-01T19:16:00.000-06:00

Hey, check it out. It would appear that not everybody's ready to give Los Angeles back to Mexico.

Can we still give back SanFran, though?

S'pose I oughta throw in my 2¢

2005-05-01T18:55:00.000-06:00

Well, it's about time to talk about The One That Got Away™, aka Jennifer Wilbanks. I'm not gonna bother to make any specific links (s'becoming a rather bad habit lately) simply because right now there's too much to choose from. I don't have time to read even a decent chunk of what's out there- I meant to write and post this yesterday morning but didn't have the time.

So. I'll go off the latest snippets I've noticed on TV. If any of my information is flawed, feel free to point it out, it's just journalistic laziness on my part. (Hmm, if I perfect that, I could work at CBS...) What we've got so far is:

1. She jumped on a bus headed west.
2. In Albuquerque she decided maybe she should call home.
3. She told the cops she got kidnapped and taken to Vegas.
4. She 'fessed up and admitted she just got cold feet.

Or something like that. Now, the problem is, everything I've heard is either just what somebody else thinks, or hearsay. So I'll approach this two different ways.

Approach #1. She planned it all in advance, hence the haircut, and the possible advanced purchased ticket, etc. I don't wanna believe that. If it's the case, then screw her- she's evil, and you can do better, Mr. Mason. Just how selfish and self-centered can a person get? I've heard people say she did it all for a media circus- if that's so, then seriously- let's forget her and move on.

Approach #2. Well, I'm all about giving people the benefit of the doubt. To be honest, there's no reason (yet?) for me to assume the worst about this lady. So. The last paragraph was the worst possible scenario, now let's discuss the best possible scenario.

I'd like to think that she didn't plan it all out as some kind of insane publicity stunt. There's been enough incredibly evil people coming out of the Florida/Georgia area the last couple months- I would really like it if one potentially horrible person turns out to not be all that bad. So let's assume, for the sake of making assumptions, that what happened was something like this:

She goes out running. During the run, she's thinking long and hard about the upcoming marriage. She freaks out. Even though her wallet and anything else one would want before a cross-country bus ride is in the house, she (for some reason) has the couple hundred dollars Greyhound will charge you to go from Atlanta to New Mexico. She jumps on the bus to think it all over. She winds up in Albuquerque, has second thoughts about her second thoughts, and somewhere along the way realizes that half the friggin' country is looking for her. She knows she might get in trouble, so in a panic she tells the Albuquerque cops that she got kidnapped.

Well, let's pick this apart. A couple of details make this story nearly impossible- if she didn't buy the ticket in advance, why in the world did she take $150 or whatever on a run around the neighborhood? Or did she have her ATM card but nothing else? Both of those possibilities are unlikely in the extreme- but that doesn't mean it didn't happen that way. The other detail is why she cut her hair. That one I don't have an answer for, but remember, right now we are dwelling in Possibility Land.

As far as the fanciful fabrication she told the cops- well, have you ever done something really dumb and then made up a crazy lie to try and weasel out of it? I have, many a time. (I've grown out of it, however- that's what separates children from adults.) But maybe she got really paranoid, and decided coming up with a cover story would be best.

I think a key point we need to know before we either pass judgment or forgive is, at just what point did she find out that everybody thought she'd been kidnapped? Her story (the last I heard) is that she had no access to TV the whole way from Georgia to New Mexico. That's hard to believe, but I've taken a Greyhound before, and it's not inconceivable that she was cut off from the world while on the bus, and didn't have a chance to catch up on the news while she was in the stations. But for five days? S'gettin' kinda fishy in here.

So I guess even the best possible outcome is that this woman is very small-minded and very selfish. At best- how do you jump on a bus, the week before your wedding, and just jet across the country without a care in the world? Did you not stop for just one second and think that maybe the man you've pledged yourself to is having what is doubtless the worst week of his entire life? Did you not consider your six hundred wedding guests, who, at the least have been greatly inconvienced, and in reality are scared to death that they're gonna wake up tomorrow to the news that you've been found in the woods with your throat cut? Haven't you been paying attention to life in your part of the country? Did you not realize that cops all over the country have been working long days trying to find you?

What could you possibly have been thinking?

Well- I won't rush into a judgment based on incomplete data. But at best it is clear that this woman is not ready to be married. No, I'm not trying to state the obvious, that she's not ready to be married right now, that she doesn't know if she can handle all these guests, blah, blah, blah. I'm saying she's not ready to be married, period. This stunt- even if it wasn't done with evil intent- proves that she is at the maturity level of a typical high school sophomore. Before anyone even considers being married, all this should've been thought through. And one very important thing- in marriage, there cannot be any secrets. If you are hiding something from your fiancé, either spit it out or don't get married yet. If you are so unsure of everything that you think your best option is to hit the road right before your wedding day- well, maybe that's a good thing, 'cuz you were never remotely ready to undertake a challenge as massive as marriage.

Hmm... this just occurred to me... what if she'd have gotten married, and then become pregnant? "Oh, crap, but I'm not ready for this!" This kind of selfish, unthinking attitude kills a lot of innocent babies in America.

(/random thought mode)

Well, we'll see how it plays out. Is it possible that the stress of the whole situation got to her and she realized she was in way over her head? Yeah, I guess so. But taking off on a bus without so much as a phone call is reprehensible. I don't care how scared you are- be enough of a grown-up to admit it. Your groom-to-be will accept your hesitancy if not completely understand, and your guests will live. D'ya think that might be a little better than having them think you were dead?

UPDATE: Posted too soon. Forgot something.

They're talking about pressing charges because she pulled a silly stunt that dragged a lot of cops into the mix. Read the last third or so of this post and you'll see what I think of people that waste cops' time, and in effect waste taxpayers' money. Especially if it turns out to be a setup on her part- slam her.

'NUTHER UPDATE: La Shawn is seriously irritated at this girl. And La Shawn is wise, so pay attention.

STILL ANOTHER UPDATE: ...here.

Hey, if this entertained or enlightened you in the slightest, kindly visit the new site.

I believe it's called a "diet"

2005-05-01T16:39:00.000-06:00

What's wrong with this picture?

(Literally...)

Once again, the Bay Area Californuts™ can claim the BMAA- Best Moonbats in America Award™. Last year, the BMAA was awarded to the Boston area, but this year it is back in the hands of Bezerkeley. (Prior to the '04 election, aka the Massachusetts Upstart, the BMAA had always been in the Bay Area, ever since its inception in 1969.)

If you keep up your *snicker* hunger strike *snicker* for a few more months, it might just do ya some good, lady.

And I'm sure the Minutemen care deeply about your interest in their project. ...wait, nope, probably not.

Hat tip: Jeremiah

Oh, speaking of the Minutemen, they're planning on being in Michigan next year. That's pretty nifty. (Hat tip #2: Malkin/Kelly)

Yep, he's still dead

2005-04-30T14:12:00.000-06:00

Today is the 60th anniversary of the ~~death~~"OMG here come the Russians quick let's get married and then shoot ourselves in the head," of Adolf Hitler.

SITYSK™ would like to commemorate the ~~death~~self-execution of ol' Adolf with an update:

He is still satisfyingly dead.

That is all.

UPDATE: Howdy, LeatherPenguin readers! Make yourselves comfy.

Caterpillars are around

2005-04-30T13:59:00.000-06:00

French surrender

This is the funniest thing I've seen in a while.

Caterpillar invasions are not that rare in eastern France.

That's not the only kind of invasion that's not rare in eastern France.

But those must be some seriously bad caterpillars.

Oh, wait, this is France.

Bloggy facelift

2005-04-29T15:24:00.000-06:00

Okay, messed around with the template a bit more. Finally got around to adding the Alliance blogroll, and then realized the whole sidebar needed to be revised. Changed the color scheme a bit, too. Whatch'y'all think?

I guess I have good timing. They just updated the Alliance roll, so that worked out pretty good. It's all nice and organized and tidy. Hey- I'm **Spicy!**. Uhh... at first I thought that meant "new", until I saw BMEWS and the Rott in the same category. Does that mean I'm special? Yay! I got spicy! I got spicy! I got spicy! Yay!

(/Special Ed mode)

Anyway, does anybody know what that means?

Oh, and I decided to make a spot for Nifty Quotes™. But I don't have any yet. So, uh, let's have some quotes, eh.

And on a final note, the Site Meter passed 3000 while I was in the process of messing with the sidebar. That must be a good sign. Threw me for a loop for a second though, 'cuz that was one of the things I was moving around, but I was only fixing one thing at a time and then checking to see how it made the template look. It caught me off guard 'cuz I was looking at something else and I noticed my Site Meter looked different. So I'm thinking, what the heck made my Site Meter change? Duh.

Anywho.

Good riddance, traitor

2005-04-28T20:24:00.000-06:00

Hey, that piece of crap who turned on his officers, the Army and his country has been sentenced to die. Make it quick. Like tomorrow. Traitorous murdering wordsfailme. Die now please.

Thus Spake the Traitor:

I want to apologize for the attack that occurred.

I doubt that very much.

I felt that my life was in jeopardy...

Don't lie to me.

...and I had no other options.

Oh, please. At least go the route of Fellow-Traitor-But-At-Least-He-Didn't-Kill-Anybody Pablo Paredes. Run off into the desert and look for your Islamofascist friends. Swim home. Don't tell me your only option was to kill your chain of command. Die slow in agony.

I also want to ask you for forgiveness.

Denied. And it takes a lot to get me to that point. Lord, help me with my unforgiveness.

But this traitor must die as soon as possible, as slowly as possible.

If Akbar is executed, it would be by lethal injection.

Not good enough. Let the families left behind beat him to death.

Your 72 goats will be waiting for you in Hell. Please die now, you disgrace to the NCO Corps, the Screaming Eagles, the U.S. Army, the greatest country ever, and the human race.

I'm pissed off now.

There he goes again

2005-04-28T16:05:00.000-06:00

Note: The link for this is from CNN, but my computer doesn't want to go to their site right now. Post will be properly linked when my computer decides to Act Right™.

-confound it! Now CNN has updated their story, and I can't find the right link! Time to pull a Kos! Screw 'em! No link! Ha ha ha!!!

Whatever. Here's the post, anyway:

Dear Mr. Putin:

1. Open mouth.
2. Insert foot.

Didn't I just have to set you straight the other day? Wise up and pay attention.

Sincerely,
The Editorial Staff at SITYSK™

Well, good ol' Politburo Chairman RasPutin has added to his list of "I Love The 70's" moments. Apparently pining for the days of missile parades and chocolately Cold War goodness, he visited Israel, and, well... I'd'a kicked him out. Good thing I'm not in charge, I guess.

Russian President Vladimir Putin faced down Israeli criticism Thursday, saying that Russia's planned sale of anti-aircraft missiles to Syria and supply of nuclear components to Iran do not threaten Israel's security.

Interesting... and just how did you come about this theory? I'm not sure, but I do believe the only country that's ever had its planes shot down by Syrian missiles is Israel. Y'know, the three? four? times they tried to push the Eeeeeevil Jooooooooooos™ into the sea, and the Eeeeeevil Jooooooooooos™ refused to go.

As far as providing Iran with nuclear anything- that's stupid. I have a nifty idea for third-world countries run by psychotic dictators- if they say they need nuclear material to provide power for The People™, don't believe them. They build bombs with that crap. *cough* North Korea *cough*

He also pledged to tackle the growing problem of anti-Semitism in his country.

That's nice, seeing as his country is second only to Nazi Germany in terms of historical pogroms against Jews.

Putin spoke on the second day of his historic visit to Israel -- the first trip here by a Kremlin leader. The trip was intended to cement Russia's rapprochement with the Jewish state and boost its profile in the international arena.

"I sure hope we can be friends, good buddy! -oh, that? Never mind that. That's just some stuff that the people who always try to kill you can eventually make a nuclear weapon out of. It can't hurt you."

Putin was greeted Thursday morning by the pomp of an official welcoming ceremony, complete with a military honor guard and Jewish, Muslim and Christian religious leaders.

But the visit was shadowed by disagreements with Israel over Russia's aid to Syria and Iran, two of Israel's staunchest enemies. Russia has provided assistance for Iran's nuclear program and has agreed to sell anti-aircraft missiles to Syria. Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon has said repeatedly the missiles pose a danger to Israel and wants Putin to halt the deal.

Which anyone with common sense could see.

Israeli Vice Premier Ehud Olmert said Thursday that Russia is selling Iran components that can be used to make non-conventional weapons, and that Russia's assistance to Iran is a cause of concern. Israel accuses Iran of pursuing nuclear weapons, though Tehran says its nuclear program is for peaceful purposes only.

Oh, well, then, they must be telling the truth! World leaders are always completely up front about their intentions!

*cough* Munich Pact *cough*

"His deal with Iran is not just an arms deal," Olmert told Army Radio on Thursday, referring to Putin. "He also supplies Iran with components that could be used for possible production of non-conventional weapons."

"Could"? "Possible"? You are far too nice.

The United States announced Wednesday it had authorized the sale of as many as 100 large bunker-buster bombs to Israel, which experts saw as a warning to Iran about its nuclear ambitions.

Which "experts"? I think the supply of nuclear weapons Israel already possesses should be enough of a deterrent- but Mutually Assured Destruction only works against countries that care about- or at least need for survival- their populations.

Putin defended the moves in talks with Katsav, who holds a largely ceremonial role, saying that Russia was sensitive to Israel's security concerns. "Regarding Iran, we are working to make sure their nuclear ability is used for peaceful means."

Really? What exactly are you doing? Asking them "pretty please with sugar on top"?

The agreement with Iran requires it to return all its spent nuclear fuel to Russia so it cannot be used for military purposes, Putin said. "I agree that these steps are not enough and we have to get Iran to agree to nuclear inspections," he said at a joint news conference in Jerusalem with Katzav.

You agree that what you're doing isn't enough. And your plan is to try something that's been tried countless times on evil regimes the world over- and has never worked. Good plan, genius.

He also sought to allay concerns about the Syrian arms deal, saying the missiles should pose no threat to Israel. "The missiles we are providing to Syria are short-range anti-aircraft missiles that cannot reach Israeli territory," he said. "To come within their range, you would have to attack Syria. Do you want to do that?"

Id. I. Ot. Has Israel ever attacked Syria? Have they ever attacked anyone? No. Have Arab missiles shot down Israeli planes? Yes. In wars that the Arabs started, where the IAF was attempting to drive out the invaders.

Israeli warplanes bombed alleged militant training bases outside Damascus on October 5, 2003, and have buzzed one of Syrian President Bashar Assad's palaces.

Always with the "alleged". The Mossad is very good at what they do, so I doubt a mistake was made. And if the Israelis said they bombed militant training bases, then by golly, that's what they bombed.

Oh, and by the way- show me the Syrian election results that show Assad is a "president". One of these days a real good rant on the proper use of that word is coming.

Putin said he had personally vetoed the sale of longer-range missiles to Syria out of concern for Israel's safety.

Aw, how sweet.

Officials close to the talks, speaking on condition of anonymity, said Russia had already signed a deal with Syria for missiles with a range of 300 kilometers (185 miles). According to the officials, Putin told Katzav "then I checked and my experts told me that Israel has no way to intercept these missiles so I canceled the deal."

Well, I can't tell ya how much better that makes me feel, considering Israel's only about 60 miles across at its widest point. My guess is Syria didn't need missiles that can hit empty air above the Med three times as far away as the closest Israeli plane.

"We are taking the opinions and concerns of our partners into consideration, and not changing the balance of power in the region," Putin said at the news conference. "Israel has no problem here."

Aside from the constant threat of invasion and annihilation.

Israeli media reported Thursday that Sharon also opposes Russia's plan to sell military equipment to the Palestinians. Palestinian officials have said Russia is interested in selling armored vehicles to their security services for use in riot control. Israel fears the armored vehicles could fall into the hands of militants.

Or that they would skip the "falling into" step and just start out in the hands of the militants. This is Palestine we're talking about.

Putin began his visit here late Wednesday on a note of controversy, proposing, just before his arrival, that Russia host a Mideast peace conference in the fall, after Israel withdraws from Gaza. Palestinians warmly embraced the idea, but Israel and the United States brushed it aside.

He did not bring up the conference proposal during Thursday's news conference with Katsav, but said there was a unique opportunity to achieve peace in the region.

What opportunity is that? Set up an independent Palestinian state on the moon and arrange to transport all the Palestinians there?

"We think there is a chance now to achieve a just Israeli-Palestinian settlement ... much will depend on Israel's willingness and the Palestinians' willingness, first and foremost," Putin said.

It's kinda hard to reach an agreement when one party's stance is "All of you die" and the other's stance is "No."

Katsav said the two disagreed during their meeting on the weapons sales, with Katsav calling for Russia to pressure Syria to close the Damascus offices of Palestinian militant groups.

Despite the disagreements, Katsav warmly welcomed Putin's visit, which was seen as a dramatic gesture of support by a country that was once one of Israel's historic enemies.

And apparently still is. Let's see- 1967 and 1973- Arabs invade Israel with weapons they acquired from- guess which country. It wasn't France.

"I can say that I view Vladimir Putin as a friend of the state of Israel," he said.

The two men also discussed economic cooperation, Russia's role in the region and the fight against anti-Semitism. They also signed a vague joint statement urging perseverance in Mideast peace efforts and pledging continued cooperation in fighting terrorism.

Uh, Russia has to join the fight against terrorism before it can "continue".

There's a bit more to the article, but I didn't have anything to add. Plus I'm all writ out. Maybe I'm being too hard on the old boy, I don't know. He is, after all, Just Another European Politician™. Me tired. Later.

Um...

2005-04-28T13:16:00.000-06:00

...what's this all about???

Came across it while Googling a couple of acronyms.

...

...odd.

[insert title here]

2005-04-27T15:22:00.000-06:00

Good read. Check it out.

It starts out satirizing the Left's paranoid babblings about the Minutemen, and evolves into a good ol' fashioned pimp-slapping of Leftist scare tactics in general.

Incidentally, the Minutemen have been (predictably) forgotten by the MSM when they realized there was nothing there. No sniping of border-jumpers, no beatdowns of ACLU potheads, no story. I must admit- the Minutemen even slipped my mind the last week or so, and for that I apologize- to my Loyal Reader(s?)™, and more so to the Minutemen themselves. Appreciate what you did for us, fellas.

Anyway. Go read it. S'good stuff.

Hat tip: Michelle Malkin, over at the Immigration Blog.

(As to the ~~title~~manifested laziness at the head of this post, it's been a long day, and I'm tired. Minion Status™ will be awarded to the first Loyal Reader™ who comes up with a witty title.)

Thanks, TL!

2005-04-27T09:41:00.000-06:00

M'gosh! It would appear that Tao Libra showed up in the comments section and scared my evil little italics problem straight!

...and now, for a test...

yeah!

2005-04-26T19:44:00.000-06:00

I'm not a sportsblogger, and I'll be the first to admit that I can be a fair-weather fan at times. All that aside, I would just like to point out that the Defending Champion™ Detroit Pistons are beating the ever-lovin' crap out of the 76ers right now. Thank you.

UPDATE: The game is over. Heh, I say.

Somebody please throw this cocky wench in jail

2005-04-26T11:30:00.000-06:00

Well, I've been waiting for an update to the Anna Alaya case, and here it is.

The woman who was arrested after claiming she bit into a human finger in a bowl of Wendy's chili waived extradition Tuesday, telling a judge she was eager to return to California to face charges.

Yeah, I bet. She still thinks she'll get away with this.

Anna Ayala, 39, appeared before the same judge who issued a warrant for police to search her home outside Las Vegas on April 6. Records from that raid are sealed.

Outside court, Ayala's lawyer, Frederick Tait Ehler of San Jose, derided charges against his client as baseless.

Isn't that what snotty lawyers are for? Quotes that usually place the blame on Somebody Else™?

"Anna says they're ridiculous," Ehler said of the charges of attempted grand larceny. "She's eager to go back to San Jose."

But is she eager to go to San Quentin?

Ayala was arrested late Thursday, and San Jose police on Friday called her claim a hoax. Authorities said the attempted grand theft charge relates to millions in dollars of financial losses Wendy's has suffered since news broke of her claim.

Make. Her. Pay. Every. Penny.

Ayala maintains she bit down on a 1-1/2 inch-long finger fragment while dining March 22 with her family at a Wendy's in San Jose. She has denied placing the digit in her bowl.

She's a liar. Big surprise.

She hired a lawyer and filed a claim against the franchise owner, but dropped the legal fight shortly after police searched her home.

"Oh my gosh! They're onto me!"

Ayala, who has maintained her innocence, faces a maximum seven-year sentence if convicted of the larceny charges, and at least another 16 months if convicted of unrelated charges that she allegedly bilked a woman $11,000 over a soured real estate deal two years ago.

Good, but not good enough. She needs to have to work very hard for the rest of her life and have all her money go to paying Wendy's back for the damages.

Ayala has been involved in nearly a dozen legal battles, including a sexual harassment suit against an employer, an auto dealer over a car and even another fast-food chain for food poisoning.

See what we've started? We let a few people get away with frivilous lawsuits, lazy liars see it as a way to get rich quick and never have to do that awful Work™ thing any more, and you get a country full of Anna Alayas. Way to go.

Authorities have not yet identified who the finger belonged to or Ayala's connection to it.

And are probably frantically searching mortuaries as we speak.

A person with knowledge about the case who spoke on condition of anonymity said the finger charge stemmed from San Jose police interviews with people who said Ayala described putting a finger in the chili, statements bolstered by authorities announcing last week that it did not appear the finger had been simmering in chili.

How 'bout this? Whenever anybody launches what looks like a massive frivilous lawsuit, keep an eye on them. Taking them into custody, although my first reaction, is a bit much- but let them know, "sorry for the inconvience, but we have to make sure you're telling the truth..."

The company maintains that the finger did not enter the food chain in its ingredients. Employees at the San Jose franchise have all their fingers, and no suppliers of Wendy's ingredients reported any hand or finger injuries, the company said.

...duh.

Wendy's, based at Dublin, Ohio, is offering $100,000 for information leading to the origin of the finger.

Screw that. Beat the info out of Anna Alaya. I betcha she knows where she got it.

Grr.

Part I here.
Part III- They found the finger. Mwheh.

Hey, if this entertained or enlightened you in the slightest, kindly visit the new site.

How do you say "true colors" in Russian?

2005-04-25T14:24:00.000-06:00

Some interesting tidbits from the leader of the world's largest country:

The collapse of the Soviet Union was "the greatest political catastrophe of the last century," Russian president Vladimir Putin said...

I'll agree 100% with that statement if he changes the word "collapse" to "creation".

...the 1991 breakup of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics... left tens of millions of Russian people living outside Russia...

Oh yeah? And the 1917 setup of said "union" left millions of non-Russians without a country of their own.

...personal savings were wiped out...

Lemme get this straight. "Personal savings" were wiped out with the collapse of the Soviet Union. Hmm. And this whole time I thought the Socialist Worker's Paradise™ left all of its citizens without any money anyway.

...and "old ideals" were destroyed.

I wish that were true. Unfortunately a billion Chinese are still slaves to those ideals.

Putin has come in for international criticism recently over what some see as a rollback in press and judicial freedom, as well as democratic rights.

Well, after comments like these, I'd say those criticisms are justified. Can you imagine the Chancellor (or whatever he's called) of Germany saying that things in his country were great until they lost that pesky war?

"Man, I sure do pine for the good ol' days of 1940! Germany had it together then, I tells ya!"

Um, nope.

Well, the colors of the Russian flag are the same as ours, the British, and (eep) the French- red, white, and blue. Obviously Putin's colors are red with a yellow hammer and sickle.

Hat tip: Fark- your source for on-point news.

but... but... but... warforoil...!

2005-04-25T11:19:00.000-06:00

So the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia is visiting President Bush today. And one of the biggest topics of conversation will be:

Oil!

Bush said he'll make clear Monday that it's not in Saudi Arabia's interests to keep oil prices high.

channeling moonbattery

But... wait... hold on... Why are we still buying oil from the Saudis? The EeeeevilBushchimplerZionistHelliburtonCabal™ stole all the oil we'll ever need to feed our SUVs o' Doom™ from the noble Iraqi people! If * needed oil from Saudi Arabia, he'd just warforoil on in there and take it!!!

(/moonbat mode)

Whew, that was a close one. Almost stayed in Moonbatia a few seconds too long. Might not have made it back.

Stimpy! You Ee-diot!

2005-04-25T11:13:00.000-06:00

Just a little Ren there for ya.

So I was watching Fox & Friends this morning. They were talking about something Moby had said. It would appear that he, although he's not gay, wants his son to be. Going off the knowledge that every moonbat possesses- that being, gayness is not a choice, but is forced upon poor unsuspecting people- he's trying to find a way to make his son be gay.

Don't be gay, Sparky. Don't be gay.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Anyway, after extensive scientific research, he has somehow come to the conclusion that having his son drink soy milk will make him gay.

...

...what?

...

Dude, stop. You're making it hard to finish this post. I can't type and laugh at the same time.

Maybe there's a reason you spin discs and not sing. Keep your trap shut.

What's that saying about holding your tongue and being thought a fool rather than opening your mouth and removing all doubt?

...doof.

Hooray!

2005-04-25T09:36:00.000-06:00

I have been elevated to "Slithering Reptile".

A little happiness for a Monday morning.

The fool should have tried to rob Jan instead

2005-04-25T09:12:00.000-06:00

(She probably wouldn't have been packing.)

Day by Day rules.

HA-ha!

2005-04-24T17:47:00.000-06:00

(/nelson mode)

So, a week ago I wrote this. I'd like to go back and rehash some of those points, specifically the ones referring to Michigan weather.

You define summer as three months of bad sledding.

Not so sure about it any more. Maybe this summer will be merely mediocre sledding, not bad.

Your Little League baseball game was snowed out.

I bet this happened to some kids this week.

Oh, wait- it did happen to the Tigers. Are they considered "Little League"?

You have experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week.

Bet some people actually dealt with this.

"Honey, didn't we just get to the beach? Why is the sand so cold and white???"

You show people where you grew up by pointing to a spot on your left hand.

I saw the girl on the news actually do this. It was friggin' cool. 'Course, she was pointing to Lansing when she said, "Now I'm pointing to Detroit," but oh well. At least she used the right hand.

You know more about [wind-]chill factors and lake effect [snow] than you'd EVER like to know!

Hey! Bring back Nelson!

(nelson mode)
HA-ha!
(/nelson mode)

You never watch the Weather Channel - you can just assume they're wrong.

I say again: "If you don't like the weather in Michigan, wait five minutes. It'll get worse."

Toldya.

Oh, incidentally, the picture of the woman scraping the late-April ice off her windshield- yeah, that's the town I grew up in. Clarkston, Michigan. So, one last great big Nelson for all my snowbound relatives:

HA-ha!!!

goes back to the gently swaying palm tree

This is wicked awesome, yo

2005-04-23T14:45:00.000-06:00

Over at Fark they're Photoshopping a Stryker. Sweeeeet.

Michelle Malkin takes on the PC Nazis

2005-04-23T09:30:00.000-06:00

Read this crap.

No, the "crap" isn't what she wrote, it's what (or who) she wrote about. Just wanted to make sure that was clear. Remind me to add Margo Lucero to the list of people who require immediate, repeated pimp-slappings.

And in other news, I had a really cool post written- and almost finished- this morning.

Then the Bloggmonster woke up.

I guess he was hungry.

He must've learned my tactic of saving my post to Word before posting it- I do that because his favorite trick is gobbling it all up between the "Create Post" page and my homepage. Now he's changed techniques to waiting in the shadows between the "Edit" page and the "Compose" page.

Tried to edit the post. The last two thirds of it disappeared. He left the introduction, though. Very odd. Must've just wanted a snack. He'll probably come back to finish the rest later. Or maybe this post I'm writing right now.

Dirty Bloggmonster.

I'm thinkin' about it, CD, I really am...

UPDATE: Yep, he must've gone back to sleep. shhh... don't wake him...

Oohrah

2005-04-22T17:15:00.000-06:00

Well, I was gonna write about this, but I didn't have much to say. Plus I figured sooner or later NickD would give it a Marine's perspective.

...yup.

How do you say "poetic justice" in Californian?

2005-04-22T14:18:00.000-06:00

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love to see people get what they deserve. Remember that lawsuit-happy lady who conjured up a fingertip in order to sue Wendy's?

Well, she's gettin' hers.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Make her pay back every dime she cost Wendy's. And then somebody slap her for taking such things for granted. I'm not all about the Wendy's chili, but good grief could I go for one of those greasy, salty, meaty, ever-so-yummy triple cheeseburgers. Plus I hate to see people done wrong for no reason.

And I love to see frivolous lawsuit crackpots forced to eat their words.

Heh.

UPDATE: Well, earlier they said she was being charged with attempted grand larceny and grand larceny. That didn't make much sense until now.

The attempted grand larceny charge was for the Wendy's incident, according to Davis. He said the grand larceny allegation has no connection to the Wendy's case and instead stemmed from a 2002 incident in which Ayala allegedly tried to sell a mobile home in San Jose that she didn't own. The victim lost $11,000.

Hmm. It would appear that her little history just keeps on growing.

The charge stemmed from San Jose police interviews with people who said Ayala described putting a finger in the chili, according to a person knowledgeable about the case who spoke on condition of anonymity.

The person said the interviews were with at least two people who did not know each other and independently told similar stories.

Better come up with a good story quick, lady.

...Wendy's franchises in Northern California have lost $2.5 million...

Yep. She needs to pay back every penny.

May the ghost of Dave Thomas haunt you forever. Evil wench.

Update here.
And here.

Hey, if this entertained or enlightened you in the slightest, kindly visit the new site.

I still like using Google, but... grow up.

2005-04-22T11:14:00.000-06:00

You've gotta be kidding me.

Check out Google today.

A cute little (kinda gay-looking, but cute) squirrel, a purty little purple bird, a little tree with a little nest and a little just-hatched birdie with his not-hatched-yet little brother...

If it wasn't Earth Day, I would really appreciate something like that.

Michelle Malkin pointed out about three weeks ago that Google paid homage to van Gogh. Shortly thereafter they did the same for da Vinci. I have no problem with that. Couple of great guys. The problem is they didn't do a thing for the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ on Easter. It wouldn't have been that hard. Show three crosses on a hill on one side, and an empty tomb on the other. A billion Christians would've felt happy. But for the sake of worshiping at the altar of PC-ness, they shunned us. Couldn't offend those non-Christians. But they'll remake their front page for an artist or inventor. Okay.

I doubt they would put up an image of Mohammed or Buddha or [insert your false idol here] on their special days. Wouldn't put it past 'em, though. What they don't understand is that Earth Day is a religious holiday as much as Christmas and Easter are Christian holidays. Yes. That's right. When I said "the altar of PC-ness", I wasn't joking. Political correctness is a branch of the church of humanism. Everybody worships something- be it God, or Allah, or some Hindu god, or money, or television, or themselves. Many people worship people. That's what humanism is.

Side rant: I always wondered, when I was in ~~The System Designed To Produce Non-thinking, Ignorant Sheep~~public school, why it was that they couldn't teach anything Christian- on the basis of the not-written-anywhere-in-the-Constitution "separation of church and state"- but they were free, in fact encouraged, to shove secularism and humanism down my throat.

Back on topic. Google has spurned the most important Christian holiday, but blatantly supports one of the most precious humanist ones. Nice double standard, people. Can I expect jack-o-lanterns and ghosts on Halloween?

Probably.

Aah, what the heck. I'll still continue to use Google, I like their service. Will I write them a letter? Nah. I'll just bash them from the safety of my blog.

They're still wrong, though.

Oh, yeah, I'm making up a holiday. Today is Worldwide Flagrantly Abuse and Waste Precious Resources Day, and it coincides with Pimp-slap a Tree-hugging Hippie Day. Enjoy.

Have we started taking that sweet, sweet crude out of the ANWR yet?

UPDATE, a few minutes later: I forgot something. They obviously ignored Easter in order not to offend non-Christians. Well, in celebrating Earth Day over Easter, you've offended me. But- somehow- America has gotten to the point where it's just about illegal to offend anyone that's not a Christian, but almost a necessity to offend Christians as often as possible.

Maybe we should launch another Crusade. Hmm. Straighten some things out.

Oh, after a bit of r e s e a r ch, I found that they have something for Halloween every year. Something for Chinese New Year almost every year. And- every year- "Season's Greetings". Not Christmas.

Yeah. That phrase offends me, too. The government needs to abolish it, pronto. Maybe this December I'll just throw around half a dozen lawsuits against people that use "Season's Greetings".

Be scared, world. Be very scared.

Grr.

Time to toss out some linky-love!

2005-04-22T10:11:00.000-06:00

The first couple lines have been edited, due to the fact that I realized after the fact how disgusting they inadvertently were.

First of all, I would like to give mad props to aapavatar. I don't know who runs the site, (maybe I've haven't looked around enough), but much thanks. They have a big ol' list of milbloggers, and they were kind enough to put my humble lil' blahg with the likes of risawn, dogtulosba, Assumption of Command, Blackfive, Lt Smash, etc. Now, I really don't consider SITYSK™ to be a true milblog. Yeah, I'm in the Army, and once in a while I'll throw out some Army crap because it's what I was thinking about that day. But they saw fit to include me in the list anyway, and about a quarter of my hits on any given day come from there. Thanks, fellas.

The other linky-love is for someone mentioned in the above paragraph that I've been meaning to blogroll for like a month. Bad Brad. Better late than never, eh. So. Go read dogtulosba. And a big friggin' "hooah" to the Airborne Sapper Ell-tee!

...yup.

Update to a post from a while back

2005-04-22T09:51:00.000-06:00

Hey, it's time to play every SITYSK's™ favorite game! That's right, Answer the Bloggy Question!

cheesy game show music

Today's Bloggy Question is: How do I make a screen cap (or whatever it's called)? 'Cuz on this post I linked to my Site Meter where it shows my nifty basilanche from a couple weeks back. (Oh, by the way, I decided "basilanche" sounds better than "basilalanche". Maybe I should ask basil for his opinion. Hmm.) Trouble is, it's a link to something that changes every day. So in another week or two, it'll be gone, and any new readers who might happen to peruse the ol' Archives will see that and say, "What basilanche? Brad's crazy!"

Incidentally, I've had this type of problem before.

And our first contestant is...

crickets chewing gum

Wow, it's so quiet even the crickets won't chirp.

Sing it with me now!

2005-04-20T09:50:00.000-06:00

I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay
I sleep all night and I work all day

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavat'ry

...and we'll skip the part about women's clothing... aaaaaaanyway.

It would appear that Cox & Forkum appreciate ~~Global Warming Will Kill Us All If We Don't Do Something™~~Earth Day as much as I do.

Mwheh.

Today's meme brought to you by:

2005-04-18T09:21:00.000-06:00

Blogthings.

Hat tip: Assumption of Command, via basil.

This is friggin' funny. We'll start with some samplings from Bama.

You Know You're From Alabama When...

You have a party or a barbeque whenever Alabama plays Auburn in football.
...or stay inside for fear of your life. The Iron Bowl gets vicious.

You would much rather visit Florida than California.
I wouldn't visit California if I lived in Reno, Nevada. I might get infected.

...then again, Florida's been pretty messed up lately too.

A soft drink isn't soda, cola, or pop, it's Coke.
Trying as hard as possible not to catch this habit. I've actually caught myself calling pop "soda" a couple times. Scary.

You call it a "buggy" and not a shopping cart.
Don't have any trouble calling a cart a cart, though.

You've said "fixin' to," "might could," or "usetacould" during the last week.

...

...what's weird 'bout that'ere? Y'ain't from 'round heah, izya?

You know the meaning of the phrase "Fobbed again."
Mwheh.

You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Opelika, Bayou La Batre, and Oneonta.
Yoo-FAL-a, Oh-puh-LIE-cah, BYE-yoo Luh-BAH-tra, and, uh... sorry, don't know the last one.

You know exactly what chitlins and mountain oysters are, and you know someone who eats them anyway.
The only person I know that eats chitlins is me wife. And she's from Chicago.

You think that people who complain about the humidity in other states are sissies.
Mwheh. Y'all ain't seen nuthin'...

Now, a few from the Motor City:

You Know You're From Detroit When...

You are mad about the Joe Louis Statue (the fist) in the middle of Jefferson.
Yeah!

You don't know the difference between winter white and summer white.
There's a difference?

You've had to drive a half a mile to make a left turn (The Michigan Left).
Oh, the horror. More on this further down.

You drink Faygo pop.
Faygo! Word!

You've been to the Festival in Hart Plaza.
Guilty.

The Cass Corridor is your jogging route.
Do I look suicidal to you?

You have a taste for coney dogs.
Worked at an A&W for two years.

You can dodge potholes without dropping your cell phone.
Couldn't make it through the city without this skill.

You know the given names of all the expressways.
Ooh, it's been a while. Let's see how many I can remember- the Fisher, the Ford, um, Southfield... er... sorry, that's it. It's been almost a decade, folks.

You know Eminem and Kid Rock are not actually from Detroit, but Warren (a suburb) and a small farm town.
A "small farm town"?! Romeo has a name, people!!!

...and ICP is from friggin' Southfield!

You have ridden the People Mover.
Fifty cents takes you all around downtown. Cobo, the RenCen, I think Hart Plaza... I still remember Greektown is Stop 13. Opa!

My dad used to call it the "Mugger Mover".

When you pull up to a red light, you roll up your windows.
What are you, stupid? The windows are already rolled up, and the doors are locked! This is Detroit, silly!

And now, for the place where I grew up. We're about to find the difference between livin' in Bama for eight years and livin' in Michigan for eighteen.

You Know You're From Michigan When...

You define summer as three months of bad sledding.
True.

You think Alkaline batteries were named for a Tiger outfielder.
Weren't they?

You can identify an Ohio accent.
Ustacould.

Owning a Japanese car is a hanging offense in your hometown.
We'd torture 'em first.

You know how to play (and pronounce) Euchre.
Yoo-ker. That game really needs to catch on in the rest of the world. It's like spades, only more fun.

The Big Mac is something that you drive across.
Yup. The Five-Mile Bridge. Take that, teeny little gay Golden Gate!

You believe that "down south" means Toledo.
Ustadid.

Shoot, now "down south" for me means Brazil...

You bake with soda and drink pop.
Correct.

You drive 75 on the highway and you pass on the right.
More like 85, when I lived up there.

Your Little League baseball game was snowed out.
Naw, we'd play through that crap.

If you've ever barbequed in a blizzard... you might be from Michigan.

You learned how to drive a boat before you learned how to ride a bike.
That's true. I swear.

You know how to pronounce "Mackinac".
Mack-i-naw. Been there. Walked the bridge.

The word "thumb" has a geographical rather than an anatomical significance.
Heh.

You have experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week.
Not personally, but the potential was there.

But I had to come to the South before I got rained on and blinded by the sun at the same time.

You know that Kalamazoo not only exists, but that it isn't far from Hell.
...or Christmas.

...I've been through Hell!

At least one person in your family disowns you for the week of the Michigan/Michigan State football game.
Y'know, I thought U-M/MSU was a big rivalry 'til I came to Alabama.

But U-M/Ohio State is still the biggest.

You know what a millage is.
True, but not sure why it's funny.

Traveling coast to coast means driving from Port Huron to Muskegon.
BWAHAHA!

Half the change in your pocket is Canadian, eh.
NOW ya know what I'm talkin' aboot!

You show people where you grew up by pointing to a spot on your left hand.
Right hand, stupid. And it's right above that big round muscle that controls your thumb.

...ya hafta see it to understand.

You know what a "Yooper" is.
Say "Ya!" to da U.P., eh!

Your car rusts out before you need the brakes done.
Friggin' road salt.

Half the people you know say they are from Detroit... yet you don't personally know anyone who actually lives in Detroit.
Not exactly- it's more like I tell people from elsewhere in the country that I'm from Detroit, but tell Michiganders that I'm from the suburbs.

And now the truth is out- this is why the above "Detroit" list was so short for me.

You know what a pastie is.
Grew up on 'em. Would kill for one right now.

At least 25% of your relatives work for the auto industry.
More like 50.

Octopus and hockey go together as naturally as hot dogs and baseball.
Amen. Go Wings!

You know more about [wind-]chill factors and lake effect [snow] than you'd EVER like to know!
Geez, I miss snow.

Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout.
I take it back- I don't miss snow.

When giving directions, you refer to "A Michigan Left."
Oh, man. The Michigan Left. Get this. On any major street in the state, in order to make a left turn at an intersection, you have to turn right, go between a quater and half a mile, and then turn around. This keeps people from having to cross traffic. It is asinine and everybody hates it. Argh.

You know when it has rained because of the smell of worms.
Heh. Gotta find the worms to go fishin', eh.

You never watch the Weather Channel - you can just assume they're wrong.
That's true. And it's not really very funny.

Oh, okay, yes it is. Heh. Another Dadism: "If you don't like the weather in Michigan, wait five minutes. It'll get worse."

Half your friends have a perfect sledding hill right in their own backyard.
So did I... *sigh*

S'all I got. I'm all writ out. Later.

If Ol' Blood & Guts was alive today

2005-04-18T09:01:00.000-06:00

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Check this out. It's got a bit of cussin', but that probably doesn't bother anybody besides me- and anyway, what would you expect from Patton?

I wonder if he would've pissed in the Euphrates?

With a triple hat tip to Fark

2005-04-15T15:30:00.000-06:00

Lots of stupidity going on in the world today. Fark's all over it.

Stupidity Number One:

A radio talk-show host, who was hired to tell the truth, has been fired for telling the truth. [1 , 2]

Now, I've never heard of Marty Minto, and the story doesn't go into too much detail. But it's pretty obvious that this guy is a Christian, who, as a pastor and radio personality, does his best to tell it like it is. Sounds to me like somebody asked him an honest question and he gave an honest answer. I didn't read anywhere that he said, "No! Pope evil! Him burn! Sinead was right! Arrrrr!!!"

Um, no. Not really. Sounds to me like that radio station is overcome by PC Nazis. If you're that desperate to not offend anyone, you shouldn't run talk radio programs. Especially Christian ones- okay, they were worried about losing some Catholic listeners- what about the millions of atheists/ agnostics/ Muslims/ Hindus/ Wiccans/ insert your religion here? Think you already alienated them, sorry. Canning this guy just proves how PC you all are at this station. Pastor Minto, I recommend a lawsuit. Clear-cut case of wrongful termination.

Stupidity Number The Next One:

It hurts people to be executed by lethal injection.

...

So?

...

And???

...

Oh. That's it. It hurts them? Um...

...good!

Check this out:

Without adequate anaesthesia, the authors say, the person being executed would experience asphyxiation, a severe burning sensation, massive muscle cramping and cardiac arrest - which would constitute the “cruel and unusual” punishment expressly forbidden by the US constitution’s Eighth Amendment.

klaxons blare

MOONBAT ALERT! I REPEAT, WE HAVE LEVEL FIVE MOONBATS IN THE AREA! EXERCISE EXTREME CAUTION! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

Let's go over this a-gain. "Cruel and unusual punishment" is the rack. Crucifixion. Being drawn and quartered. Impalement. Being forced to listen to Barbara Streisand. And my personal favorite, The Death of a Thousand Cuts.

The Eighth Amendment does not cover not having cable TV in your cell, not being allowed to eat your favorite food in jail, and in this case, some very short-lived pain. It may be dreadful pain, even excruciating. It is not, however, cruel or unusual. Excruciating pain has happened to me a few times. We in the Army call it getting smoked. Very excruciating pain has happened to my wife three times, so far. She calls it "having a kid". Death row inmates shouldn't be complaining. The fact that the government pays somebody to a) waste a perfectly good alcohol swab disinfecting your arm and b) at least try to get it in a vein, instead of just jabbing you in the nearest convenient body part and letting your bloodstream do the work, pretty much covers any whiny argument about "Eighth Amendment rights".

Head Moonbat Koniaris also had these things to say:

“My impression is that lethal injection as practiced in the US now is no more humane than the gas chamber or electrocution, which have both been deemed inhumane,”

and

“But when you look at it critically, it’s anything but medical,” he says. “It’s a perverted medical practice.”

Really? Deemed inhumane? Prove it. I've never heard that. I say we go back to hangin' and the firing squad- neither of which are the least bit "cruel" or "unusual". The same can be said of The Chamber™ and The Chair™. Moron.

As far as it being a "medical practice"- who thinks it's a medical practice? If it was, the Hippocratic Oath would prevent the execution from taking place. (Unless you live in Florida and have a corrupt judge on your side.) It is an administeration of death- ugly, yes, but necessary. Just because someone uses a syringe doesn't make what they're doing a medical practice. I'm sure heroin addicts would be interested to learn that they're acting as a physician every time they shoot up.

But then he says he's not against the death penalty. Oh. I'm sorry, I don't believe you.

That's enough stupidity out of you. Let's move on.

Stupidity Number The Last One:

Mexican government snubs nose at America, Part 52

Just how much more obviously anti-American can you get? I don't have much to add to this one, but at the advice of the Blogododecahedron Overlord, I'll make a neat little bulleted list.

• You make a pamphlet that shows your citizens the best way to invade America.

• You threaten law-abiding American citizens with international sanctions.

• You demand that the American government comply with its own laws, which you flagrantly violate every chance you get.

• You fail to reciprocate those same laws on your own citizens.

• As a matter of fact, you do the exact opposite.

• You make me mad.

• Piss off.

Geez, you'd think they were worried that we were going to invade, or something.

Hey...

Isn't it about time we annexed some more crap from Mexico? That's an age-old American pasttime. Let's go for Cancun and Acapulco this time.

Act right, Mexico. You're the winner of the "Country That Is Getting Way Too Big For Its Britches" award, and the fastest-rising star on the List of Countries That Piss Me Off. China better watch out.

That's enough stupidity. My head hurts.

I wanna be a blug!

2005-04-14T10:59:00.000-06:00

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Go read this. The blogododecahedron will never be the same.

Blog Overlord Frank, may I humbly request a postion as one of your Blugs?

Asian people are so cute when they're angry

2005-04-13T15:01:00.000-06:00

No offense meant by that title if you're an American of Asian descent. I'm referring to the actual continent of Asia, which is responsible for nearly every war in the last fifty years. In the words of Kyle (or was it Stan?)- "Asian culture has plagued our fragile planet for many years. We must end it." And then Mr. Garrison said, "Excellent. A-."

So anyway, it appears that China is getting all pissy with Japan. I'm not gonna bother to link, go to any major news website and you should be able to find all the latest. It's actually been going on for a few days, but I just heard about it this morning (hat tip to RWD, with the News Roundup). China wants Japan to 'fess up to all the mean nasty things they did in WWII. Japan wants China to shove it. And somehow the question of whether or not Japan should have a permament seat on the UN Security Council became a factor. Or maybe that's where it started.

Anywho. Let's take these issues one at a time. China is annoyed because some Japanese textbooks don't give enough reference to the atrocities committed by the Japanese during World War II. Now, this is probably a first, but I actually agree with the Chinese here. The Japanese managed to elevate themselves to "Super-Nasty" level between 1931 and 1945, and put themselves on par with Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Saddam, Kim Jong-Il, Castro, Pol Pot, and various past leaders of half the continent of Africa. Everyone knows about the Holocaust and the horrendous treatment the WWII-era Germans offered their prisoners. What is less well known is that aside from a handful of death camps, a prisoner of the Germans was much more likely to survive than one of the Japanese. The Nazis performed terrible human experiments- so did the Japanese. In some German POW camps the policy was "work 'em 'til they die, and don't bother to feed 'em too much while you're at it"- but this was standard policy throughout the Japanese Empire.

So. The Japanese during WWII were evil. Horribly, despicably evil. And the Chinese bore the brunt of Japanese atrocities. Eighty American airmen bomb Tokyo, and a handful make it to China? No problem, we'll slaughter two hundred thousand of your citizens, because those downed airmen might've received a little aid. We finally take your (then-)capital of Nanking? We'll rape every woman we see. And from what I understand, Japanese history basically shows that things were okay up until the 1930s, then in 1945 Americans starting bombing cities for no particular reason.

I don't know if that's true- I've never read a Japanese history book. But I don't doubt it. And if Japanese textbooks show a tragically misrepresented history, well, it's your country, bub- and if you think misleading your people for the honor of your ancestors or whatever is the way to go, well, okay. But I would just mention that showing your citizens only the parts you want them to know about is a tried-and-true method of many world leaders. Like Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Saddam, Kim Jong-Il, Castro, etc... see where this leads?

So I suppose the Chinese sort of have a valid gripe there. Accountability, and whatnot. "Goshdarnit, these dirty neighbors of ours did bad things to us, and we want them to admit it!" Okay. If they apologize, will it change anything? It'd be nice, sure, but will it really make you feel that much better?

But take into account just who's doing the griping here. C-H-I-N-A. In case you didn't know, the ~~People's~~Who are you trying to kid? ~~Republic~~Evil Commie Dictatorship has the dubious distinction of being my least-favorite country. If any country in the world has no right whatso-freaking-ever to complain about other people not being truthful, it's- um... well, the other "People's Republic", North Korea. But with Saddam no longer in charge of Iraq, China's a close second. These guys keep over a billion people in the dark as to the reality of their country, and the world. And you want Japan to tell the truth about something? Puh-lease. First let's have the Chinese government admit to the world that it's tyrannical, that its people have no freedom whatsoever, and while you're at it, tell us just how many of your citizens were murdered under Chairman Mao. Then maybe we can talk about some silly Japanese textbooks.

I mean, c'mon- what do you think Chinese textbooks say? "China has always been the bestest country ever, but man, when Chairman Mao came along with the Great Leap Forward, boy, we were on top of it then!" Please. Stupid Commies.

As far as the Security Council? Well, who cares? When John Bolton becomes Chancellor and Dictator-for-Life over the UN, it won't matter very much, will it? But since we live in an imperfect world, where the United Nations, sadly, still exists, I'll answer the question.

The permament seats on the UNSC are the US, the UK, Russia, France, and China- the five major nations that won WWII. Great. Whatever. The USSR and China should've been kicked off immediately for being dirty lying Commies. (I mean, yeah, sure, Stalin's soldiers did the vast majority of necessary killin' that led to the demise of the German Army. But when he enslaved Eastern Europe after promising democratic elections, we should've told him to stuff it. Better yet, we should've said, "How very Hitlerish of you.") Russia should've been given a skeptical look after '91, but then when they decided to take Saddam's side in 2002, they would've been kicked out again anyway, along with France. So right now the UNSC should be us and Britain. Period. Oh, and maybe Israel. As far as Japan- well, it certainly appears that the reasons for eligibility to the UNSC are obsolete. What the heck, let 'em in. At least they're a democracy. Yeah, whatcha got to say about that, China? Huh? Not talkin' too loud now, are ya?

Punks.

Man, I hate Commies.

Hey, if this entertained or enlightened you in the slightest, kindly visit the new site.

And In Case You Missed It... (...like I did...)

2005-04-13T08:52:00.000-06:00

Rachel Not-Lucas-Any-More got married. A long time ago.

Congrats, eh!

You've friggin' GOT to be kidding me

2005-04-11T11:25:00.000-06:00

So now I'm the #3 Google search for "Beyonce's vagina".

Interesting.

Guess who's 1 and 2?

You know what sucks?

2005-04-11T08:10:00.000-06:00

Working on your day off.

Aah, it ain't that bad. Does make Monday morning kinda rough though, ya don't get that nice fresh-off-the-weekend feel.

Ugh.

Vigilante Loops and ACLU Stew

2005-04-06T09:51:00.000-06:00

John Smallberries of the Minutemen has posted over at La Shawn's. A tasty morsel:

[I] was astonished to see Reno sitting next to a small man, quietly talking in Spanish to him! I had to stop and be stunned for about 3 seconds. He smiled broadly at me, I smiled back, and then he proceeded to snarf the entire box of Fig Newtons, and drain a 1/3 of the water jug. He had not eaten for days.

Thus - The entire rest of the weekend was conducted without a Fig Newton in sight. Tragic. However - he needed them more then me. Good.

And he was *very* happy to be found. This gent was from Guatemala, his guide had abandoned him 3 days ago, and left him to wander in the desert. He saw the lights of our operation, and simply walked toward the camp, and right up to Reno and Pecos at the front gate. Despite dire media predictions, he was not beaten, robbed, or lynched. He got fed, and actually asked Reno to call “La Migra” to come pick him up. Happy to oblige amigo!

Yup. Definetely racist vigilantes, every one. Go read the rest.

Kudos to the law officers of Southern California.

2005-04-05T14:32:00.000-06:00

You guys have a great deal more patience than I would, under similar circumstances.

WARNING: EXTREMELY LONG, ANGER-FILLED, BARELY-EDITED-ONCE, STREAM-OF-CONSCIOUSNESS-TYPE POST AHEAD

This post will severely tax my ability to express myself without going into Tourette's syndrome. Morons like this cause my trigger finger to twitch.

I'm not gonna link to anything (yet), but if you've watched any news since about 1300 EST, you know about The Moron. They may have revealed his name since I turned off my TV and left my room, but I don't care. His name, from here on out, will be The Moron.

The Moron decided to break just about every traffic law known to man, endanger probably ten thousand people, and snub his nose at authority all at the same time. Allegedly, The Moron started the day by ransacking his parents' house (if it's true, nobody knows why yet) and stealing their car. The Moron then proceeded to drive down several Los Angeles area interstate highways at speeds ranging from 20ish to 120ish.

More than a dozen cops followed The Moron for more than an hour, their hands tied by laws preventing the necessary action. I know a large amount of them were from the California Highway Patrol, and I believe also LA County, Orange County, LAPD, and probably dozens of local law enforcement agencies as well. They finally stopped him off the highway, at a store somewhere. Why The Moron decided to stop there is unknown to me, they're probably in the process of finding out all this crap as I write.

I was flipping back and forth between FoxNews and CNN during this whole episode, which conveniently started right as I was going to lunch, and ended right before I had to go back to work. Now, I will begin attempting to put all my angry thoughts into a coherent, readable form. Let's go.

Firstly, I would just like it to be known that The Moron is extremely lucky that I am not an officer of the CHP. Because if I was, right now The Moron would be dead. When I tuned in to the story, they had been chasing him for a short while, and he was waving random body parts out the window while driving. Now let's get something straight. I was a punk stupid teenager once. Have I driven down the road with the cruise control on, sitting on my windowsill (do cars have windowsills?) steering with one knee? Sure have. Did I endanger anyone besides myself while doing so? Nope. Have I driven 120 mph on a freeway? Not sure, my Escort topped out around 105- but I have done that in a 65, and if my car went 120, well that's what I would've done. Did I endanger others while doing so? Moderately, perhaps. Were the cops chasing me at the time? Nope- and if they were, my scared self would've freaked out- and then stopped, and accepted my punishment like a man. Have I had half my body out the top of a sunroof in a vehicle doing 90 mph? sigh Yup. Was I driving said vehicle? Of course not. Was it 30° on a Michigan December evening? Yup. Did my best friend, who was driving, turn on his windshield washers and mess me up good? Heh. Yup.

Geez, that was cold. Brrr.

Anyway. This post isn't about Happy Memories™, it's about The Moron. The Moron did all these things, weaving in and out of traffic, with about a dozen cop cars chasing him, in speeds varying from 90, to 40, to 70, to 20, to 100+, whatever he felt like that particular second. It's okay, The Moron. It's your world, none of us little people matter.

That's become a major problem in America. A great deal of people show such a degree of selfishness that they believe that their actions don't influence other people, or maybe they know, and they just don't care. The Moron is one or the other. It's time for The Moron to learn a valuable life lesson or twelve. Hopefully if he gets slammed good and hard it'll convince a few potential Morons out there to think twice before exhibiting careless, selfish behavior.

Oh, wait, I forgot. This is The ~~People's~~Activist Judges' Republik of Kalifornia we're talking about here. I heard somebody, after The Moron stopped his car, that the judges here don't take this lightly, that he would not get off with a slap on the wrist. No, they are going to throw the book at him. He'll receive a lengthy jail term.

Good. Publicize every second of The Moron's trial, like you did with Michael Jackson, and Martha Stewart, and OJ, and a bunch of other people I couldn't care less about. Let real people see what happens when an average guy (read: not celebrity) breaks this many laws, this flagrantly, in front of this many people. Put your cameras in his jail cell once a day and remind the potential Morons just what happens when you pull this stuff.

Naw... not the MSM. Maybe we can some bloggers to report on him daily.

But as to the guy who's confident that The Moron will rot in jail for a good little while- I'll believe that when I see it. And I want to see it. I want it to happen, and I want to watch.

But I don't think it'll happen. Not in California.

FoxNews had a former West Virginia state trooper named Ric Robinson call up. Maybe they called him, I don't know. He is now officially a cool guy. He voiced over international TV what I was screaming at my TV. That the officers showed remarkable restraint, even though The Moron's defense attorney will undoubtedly cry and pout how his actions were forced because the cops were following him. That the rules and regulations slapped on cops to keep them from using a little too much force keep them from quickly capturing criminals.

...

He said lots of other outstanding things, but I can't remember them. Too bad I couldn't liveblog this. Anyway.

I'm all about there being rules to keep cops from having too much power. Same thing with soldiers. Same thing with lawmakers and judges- unfortunately, while the rules restraining soldiers work very well, the ones for cops are way too restrictive. And the ones for the legislature and judiciary are not enforced. Not any more, anyway.

Hmm. That's a rant for a different day. Back to The Moron.

Did I mention that The Moron is lucky I wasn't one of those cops? I have a soldier's mentality. Now, I'm not hyping myself up. I spent seven months in the 'Stan... fixing radars. I've never fired my weapon at the enemy. Or anyone, for that matter. I've never seen combat, and the Army has never put me in a position where I was scared for my life. But when it comes to defending myself, my fellow soldiers, and innocent noncombatants, I will kill whoever asks for it, within my rules of engagement. There are situations and places where if somebody needed killin', I couldn't just pop them. However, if they show themselves to be a tangible threat to me or other soldiers, I am authorized to shoot to kill. Depending on the situation, of course. Some situations I'd be allowed to open fire to protect civilians. But the key thing is, when I see someone acting in a manner that will possibly or probably get somebody killed, my first instinct is to remove their ability to do so.

Usually that requires them to give up their life. Sucks to be them.

So. My appreciation and admiration goes out to every one of those cops. They showed much more restraint then I would've- or could've. I don't think my aforementioned "soldier's mentality" would allow me to be a cop. I would've handled this situation very quickly.

"Hmm... The Moron is driving erratically, weaving in and out of traffic, not making any attempt to keep control of his vehicle... hmm. Option 1. Shoot him now. Nope, can't. Cars ahead of him. Innocent civilians. Might miss. Hit them. Bad. Option 2. Have helicopter land on him. Nope, can't. Might hurt pilot. Option 3. Get in front, slam on brakes. Yep. That'll work."

Y'know, I meant to blog about this, but I didn't get around to it. Perfect time to mention it now. A couple days ago I saw a bit of a COPS-like show on Spike-TV, or something. Basically had this guy (The Moron's older brother, I'd guess) running from the cops in a pickup. They threw out the spikes and flattened all four of his tires. He was driving on the rims and this genius decided to get on the freeway, going the wrong way. He could only manage about 15 miles an hour, but still. He was going. The. Wrong. Way. The cops following him asked permission to box him in, and when they got it, one bravely risked his own safety to run the guy into the wall.

I would've shot him afterward.

Now understand, I would never shoot at someone who I was 100% certain was trying to surrender and was no longer a threat to me or anyone else. It's not about revenge, or dishing out justice. As a cop, that's not your job. The justice system, flawed and corrupt as it is in some places, must be trusted to do what's right. Same thing as a soldier, if I caught some POWs. Killing them once they're surrendered is beyond my jurisdiction.

But (moving back to The Moron's older brother's situation) let there be the slightest chance that the guy has a gun. The. Slightest. Chance. I will unload on him, and them reload my weapon, just in case he's not dead.

Cops have lots of rules clamping down on potential bad cop behavior, for good reason. Criminals do have rights, even after they're sent to jail. One of them is the right to not be killed for no reason by a cop who's just having a bad day.

But if you run from the cops- especially in a manner that endangers them, and thousands of civilians- you lose those rights.

Now, I don't know what the law says here. Even if it agrees with me, I know that in a place like California especially, a reasonable shooting like that would land a good cop in jail. So they have to be very, often unnecessarily, careful. In being forced to do so, they put themselves in danger, and allow civilians to be out in danger as well. All for the rights of a Moron whose idea of fun is careening down a busy interstate, flipping off cops.

I would've killed him.

No, you don't understand. I don't throw those words around lightly. I would've killed him.

You still ain't gettin' it. You put my life in danger? My wife could be driving herself and the kids around while you wanna act the fool? You play dice with 10,000 other motorists' lives?

I. WILL. KILL. YOU.

Let's change the subject. I'm gettin' pissed off again. The Moron isn't even in the news anymore. Not the Top Story™, anyway.

Let's talk about punishment for The Moron, since those kind (though he's probably cussing them right now) and patient cops didn't kill him.

That guy (whoever he was) said he'll get some serious jail time. Good. But let's talk about reimbursements, shall we?

First of all, I think that any crime that causes superfluous police work should be paid in full by the criminal, if it turns out that he's guilty. Ordinary, open-and-shut crimes, no big deal. That's what we pay detectives and forensics guys for. But if the cops are chasing you, and you know it, and you don't stop? The timer starts running, just like a taxicab. If a dozen cop cars have to chase you, you have to pay back all their fuel costs. I heard that there were many more police cars involved- blocking off the onramps, making sure nobody got on the highway. Ooh, buddy, that'll cost ya. Pay back all those local PDs for their wasted time. Pay back all those commuters you inconvenienced. Pay back each and every victim of a crime in that area, committed while the cops were busy chasing your fool self around.

How 'bout this? Everybody sue him. Each driver that couldn't get on the interstate because of this guy's selfishness? Sue him for 50 dollars. Every single one of them. All ten thousand of them. Of course, you have to add your attorney costs, and time lost at court pursuing your lawsuit. Every employer who lost money because their employees couldn't get back from lunch? Sue The Moron. Every accident that happened on side streets because the interstate was closed. Sue The Moron.

Now, I'm still my anti-frivolous-lawsuit self, but in this case I'll make an exception.

And how 'bout some traffic fines? Running from the cops, possible possession-of-a-stolen-vehicle aside, how about writing him a ticket for every illegal lane change? I saw him go over the lines at least a hundred times. At least. Was his blinker on for every one of those lane changes? Start writing some tickets. I know he broke the speed limit several times. I know waving your hands (or feet, or whole friggin' body) out of the car is reckless driving, correct? More tickets. Shoot, get him for each time he slowed down to 20 miles an hour- minimum speed on an interstate's 45, buddy.

Give him traffic tickets for $20,000 and lawsuits for $100,000 and see how many more Morons we see in the future.

Oh, and crash the car into him to get him to stop, and then charge him for a new squad car, too.

...

I'm tired. Almost done, though.

Yeah, that's about it, for now. I'm gonna post this "as is", and proof the thing later- I'm getting eyestrain, and this took way too long to write. I might edit it, or change some stuff around, or add a bit, or whatever- later on.

Yup.

Hey, if this entertained or enlightened you in the slightest, kindly visit the new site.

Good on them!

2005-04-04T13:56:00.000-06:00

Well, the Minutemen are off and running, even before they officially open for business.

A tidbit:

"You observe them, report them and get out of the way,” said Mike McGarry, a spokesman for the project...

Oh, yes, clearly a group of mercenaries bent on terrorizing the good emigrants of the noble nation of Mexico. Riiiiiight.

New blog! Give him much traffic and linkage!

2005-04-04T13:23:00.000-06:00

Hey, Loyal SITYSK™ Reader(s?)! My coworker Jeremiah just started a blog. You should Go. And Read Now.

I wonder if this makes me an Official BlogFather™. Well, CD asked if this makes him a blog-grandpa, so, I guess so.

Open letter to advertisers of pharmaceutical products

2005-04-04T08:53:00.000-06:00

Fellas, I really don't need to hear the phrases "Side effects may include nausea, diarrhea, or constipation," and/or "People with urinary tract infections should not take [insert name of your stupid product here]," with my eggs and bacon in the morning. I like orange juice with eggs and bacon, not disgusting bodily functions.

I'm gathering that some bureaucrat lawyer decided that commercials for drugs should list all possible side effects, even if the chances of you getting cancer from your headache pill is 10 billion to one. Really, people, is this necessary? I'm sure the doctor that has to prescribe the stuff can give me all the gory details before I take it.

And on a related note, I wanna make a cough syrup that can cause severe vomiting, deterioration of stomach lining causing digestion of one's own body, uncontrolled urination, skin dehydration, bleeding of the lungs, and heart failure. Maybe then people will see how idiotic these commercials are.

Editor's note: Sorry if you read that last paragraph while eating your breakfast. But at least now you know how I feel.

SiteMeter stats are fun

2005-04-03T19:45:00.000-06:00

Well, in the spirit of CD, who are you people? I just started really poking around with SiteMeter this weekend, and I noticed a couple technorati searches for "medal of honor" led people to my post about SFC Smith. That was kinda nifty, but today I noticed this. Somebody was obviously looking specifically for me. That warms the heart.

~~Note: something is wrong with that link. It's supposed to take you to a page that searched for "Army NCO Guy blogspot.com", or something like that. Curses.~~

Okay, usually when CD asks that infamous question, it's 'cuz somebody was looking for Beyonce's vagina or something similarly insane, but that's the first Google search I've seen that brought somebody here, so it got noticed.

And for the Other Thing™:

Holy crap, a basilalanche! Run for your lives! Friday, my silliness was exposed all across the 'sphere, but it sure was a good day to be a SITYSK™.

Um... thatisall.

OPEN NOTE TO CD: Dude, how do you make the link to goofy Google search pages work? That link I tried to make is taking me to Google's homepage. S'very peculiar.

UPDATE, EH: Okay, the link to Google is fixed. For some reason, the URL changed itself between Google and my SiteMeter. Me not know.

Bloggy aesthetics question

2005-04-01T15:29:00.000-06:00

Hey, all you Fellow Users of Blogg-monst-er! How do I get my archives to say "March 2005, April 2005" etc. instead of "03-01-2005 - 03-31-2005, 04-01-2005 - 04-30-2005"?

Is it something buried in the template somewhere?

UPDATE: Never mind, y'all, I found it. Hooray for not looking in the most obvious place.

NEWSFLASH>>>Breaking News in the Blogosphere<<<

2005-04-01T10:18:00.000-06:00

So, I started my morning trek around the 'sphere today, and I saw this. basil's is usually one of my first stops 'cuz he keeps tabs on the 'sphere so I don't have to. Anyway, his post led me to this. Hint: for full effect, ignore the comments section. Like I did, at first. How utterly silly of me.

Oh. The. Horror.

FrankJ sold IMAO? Now, gosh, I know he's busy what with the engagement and all, but man. Just about wrecked my whole day.

Poop.

So I wrote a post that consisted basically of agonized screams and whinings, which the Blogg-monst-er promptly ate. Good thing, too, 'cuz I would've shown my ignorance to the truth.

As I continued to meander purposelessly, pathetically, and downtrodden through the rest of the blogosphere, I kept coming back to that new-and-notimproved IMAO homepage. Couldn't leave it alone. I was heartbroken.

And then I finally went back to SarahK's post about this whole episode, and actually read the comments. (And soon afterward began adding my own.) Hint: read the comments on her page now.

Y'know, last night I went to bed smugly confident that no one would dupe me this April Fool's, thankyouverymuch!

Should've. Expected. It. From. Frank.

Duh.

Silly Brad.

Man, they got me good. Even Harvey and RightWingDuck were in on it, as well they should be. Cursed, dishonorable, wicky-wacky ronin, all of you! The Group Humor Blog strikes again!

Man, you guys got me good. Well done.

UPDATE: The Blogg-monst-er apparently regurgitated my post back to me. I'll leave it up, so you can experience my initial torment.

UPUPDATE: basil mocks me. How mean of him. However, I'm inclined to agree with what he said. Heh.

The beatings will continue until morale improvesIMAO returns!!!

2005-04-01T08:56:00.000-06:00

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

deep inhalation

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

deep inhalation

(/scream mode)
(whine mode)

But... no.

IMAO has left the building.

No.

Nooooooooooooo.

(/whine mode)

More on this when I've had to time to accept this awful new reality.

noooo.

One pale blue ribbon. Thirteen white stars. One American hero.

2005-03-31T12:16:00.000-06:00

The family of SFC Paul Smith will receive the Medal of Honor from President Bush on Tuesday, 4 April, 2005.

My thoughts when I first heard he would be awarded it here.

I don't have much to add that you somebody already didn't take the trouble to say. Read the citation.

Hooah.

Hat tip: ~~A guy I work with that reads this blog (sometimes?)~~Jeremiah. (Updated 'cuz he has a blog now.)

she's...

2005-03-31T10:25:00.000-06:00

…gone.

Lord Jesus, receive her into Your loving arms. Thank You for calling her home, for whatever Your reasons. Although we are distraught, help us to understand.

Father, receive her into Your Kingdom, where she will live forever in a perfect new body. Thank You for letting us have her here these past four decades.

Humankind… for shame.

UPDATE: And let's retire the phrase "right to die" right now, people. It never really bothered me until today, but the first time I heard a journalist use those three words after I heard the news, I got real upset. It's right to live, okay? And we took that right away from her.

UPDATE: I just left this comment over at Kate's place and it fits with this post so I stole it from myself and brought it over here.

At least now she's in a place where sinful man cannot hurt her any more, and she'll never need physical food again- she is in the presence of the Living Water.

I don't know how much more I'll have to say. At first all I could muster up was "she's gone"- that was gonna be the whole post. Then sadness started giving way to anger, and anger breeds words. I may end up with ten updates by the end of the day.

If you're a fat, hairy, shabbily-dressed Michigander, people might start comparing you to...

2005-03-30T11:18:00.000-06:00

Michael Moore!

Bwahahaha, haha, haha.

Hey, if anyone from Michigan reads SITYSK™, can we do something about the fact that Mikey Mooron is our state's most famous native son, at least in the blogosphere? Can't we pawn him off on some other state? Taxachusetts, maybe, or I'm sure the People's Republik of California would love to take him. We need to disassociate ourselves. The city of Flint will never live down being "Michael Moore's hometown".

For the confused: I consider Alabama to be home, yes, but I still have a warm spot in my heart for the ~~Great Frozen North~~place of my upbringing.

Hat tip: Right Wing Duck, over at IMAO.

noooooooooooooooo

2005-03-29T08:28:00.000-06:00

Mrs. R from Are You Conservative? is calling it a blogcareer, as of Thursday.

noooooooooooooooo.

I'm gonna miss those quizzes. I usually got the answers right. *wink*

Plus- oh cruel twist of fate!- I just noticed today (about thirty seconds after I read that AYC is shutting down) that she blogrolled me. Well, I'm glad I noticed that today, or I might never have known.

Anyway, make sure you check in over there in the next coupla days.

thatisall.

UPDATE: ~~noooooooooooooooo~~yeeeessssssssssssssss!

It would appear that she changed her mind. Hooray! And there was much rejoicing!

This makes twice in the last week or so that a blog I thought was going away came back the next day. Good stuff. Brad happy.

The. Coolest. Farmer. EVER.

2005-03-28T10:42:00.000-06:00

Check this out. It's cooler than cool. It's sweeter than sweet. It's niftier than nifty. It's- aah, you get the idea.

But one teeny gripe. What's with the lack of a state line between Alabama and Mississippi? Hmmph.

Aww, poor widdle Salvatruchas!

2005-03-28T10:33:00.000-06:00

Well, well, well. It seems our old friends are irritated that someone is trying to stop them from smuggling al-Qaeda terrorists into the United States.

That's right, MS-13, your enemy and mine, has apparently declared war on the Minuteman Project. And it stands to reason that if you declare war on citizens of the United States, you declare war on the whole country.

NACO, Ariz. -- Members of a violent Central America-based gang have been sent to Arizona to target Minuteman Project volunteers, who will begin a monthlong border vigil this weekend to find and report foreigner (sic) sneaking into the United States, project officials say.

Don't wait for them to shoot first, fellas. I know the Minutemen are doing everything they can to stay legal, but one must defend oneself, must'nt one?

James Gilchrist, a Vietnam veteran who helped organize the vigil to protest the federal government's failure to control illegal immigration, said he has been told that California and Texas leaders of Mara Salvatrucha, or MS-13, have issued orders to teach "a lesson" to the Minuteman volunteers.

Well, I don't think they're "protesting" the government as much as "helping them out". However, I could be wrong.

"We're not worried because half of our recruits are retired trained combat soldiers," Mr. Gilchrist said. "And those guys are just a bunch of punks."

Trained combat soldiers is good. But being a trained combat soldier means that before taking action, you must know the rules of engagement, and/or have appropriate orders from above. Like I said, they're trying to keep things legal.

And these "punks"- and the "lesson" they're trying to teach you- well, their "lessons" can be kind of rough. See below.

More than 1,000 volunteers are expected to take part in the Minuteman vigil, which will include civilian patrols along a 20-mile section of the San Pedro River Valley, which has become a frequent entry point to the United States for foreigner (sic) headed north.

About 40 percent of the 1.15 million foreign nationals caught last year by the U.S. Border Patrol trying to gain illegal entry to the United States were apprehended along a 260-mile stretch of the Arizona border here known as the Tucson sector.

Which is why the Minutemen picked this spot, if you didn't know that already.

Many of the Minuteman volunteers are expected to be armed, although organizers of the border vigil have prohibited them from carrying rifles. Only those people with a license to carry a handgun will be allowed to do so, Mr. Gilchrist said.

Staying legal. Good stuff. But you're gonna need rifles if these clowns are really going after you.

An operational plan calls for teams of four to eight volunteers to be deployed along the targeted 20-mile stretch of border at intervals of 200 to 300 yards, along with observation posts and a command center.

Mr. Gilchrist said some of the patrols and posts will be right on the U.S.-Mexico border, while others will be located farther north. The volunteers also have been told to "make lots of noise and burn campfires at night to be very visible."

Proving to all those who aren't knuckleheaded that all they're trying to do is scare the Mexicans off and keep them in Mexico. You don't light fires and make noise if you're trying to ambush or capture people. Any soldier could tell you that.

According to guidelines issued to the volunteers earlier this month, organizers said they expect that they will be targeted by various protest groups and others and that some protesters would try to provoke confrontations.

*cough*ACLU*cough*

Buncha useless Commies.

"If we are to send the message loud and clear to President Bush and Congress, it is imperative we stay within the law," Mr. Gilchrist said.

"If one single person steps over the line for their personal gratification, we are all stained with that irresponsible behavior and labeled forever as a fringe element that embarrasses all who are counting on us to make this historic statement," he said.

*cough*Abu Ghraib*cough*

Oh, wait, all Abu Ghraib proved is not so much does one isolated incident make the whole organization foul, but that's how it'll be reported. Yep, I'm sure the Minutemen could expect more of the same.

The MS-13 gang has established major smuggling operations in several areas along the U.S.-Mexico border and have transported hundreds of Central and South Americans -- including gang members -- into the United States in the past two years. The gang also is involved in drug and weapons smuggling.

scanning paragraph Hmm, I don't see where they mentioned that these guys try to smuggle in al-Qaeda members, aka fellow terrorists. They musta forgot that.

Gang members in America have been tied to numerous killings, robberies, burglaries, carjackings, extortion, rapes and aggravated assaults. Authorities said that the gang has earned a reputation from the other street gangs as being particularly ruthless and that it will retaliate violently when challenged.

They do that kinda stuff in America? Yes, that's bad, but look what they do in their own countries!

To the gentlemen who are putting their comforts, and possibly lives, at stake next month:

This Is Your Enemy. They are ruthless. They are well-armed. They are terrorists, and they're apparently attempting to help their southern brethren invade the U.S. Be wary and vigilant, gentlemen.

The MS-13 gang, with 20,000 members nationwide, has risen in recent months to such prominence that U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), the investigative arm of the Department of Homeland Security, has begun a nationwide crackdown on gang members in this country -- as part of a sweeping law-enforcement initiative known as Operation Community Shield.

ICE agents arrested more than 100 members of the gang during limited raids that began in January in just six cities, including 35 who were taken into custody in Virginia and Maryland. The authorities said MS-13 gang members originally moved into the Los Angeles area in the 1980s.

Once again, good job, fellas. Kill 'em all- those that surrender- crap, can't kill 'em. Lock 'em up.

Well- the article didn't really mention why MS-13 is so ticked off at the Minutemen. But I would venture to guess it's 'cuz Islamofascists pay top dollar, and, uh, no smuglee, no payee. Okay, okay, they get pretty good money for running and protecting the drugs, too- (/understatement mode)- but there's my Supposition of the Day. Their terrorist-comrades-in-arms kill Americans wherever and however they can, so MS jumped on the bandwagon.

Hat tip: La Shawn Barber

Hey, if this entertained or enlightened you in the slightest, kindly visit the new site.

The mockingbird didn't sing. Stupid mockingbird.

2005-03-28T08:49:00.000-06:00

Woohoo! Awesome news in the blogosphere. Them two lovebirds, who have been through everything from hellish cross-country trips to pinkytoe stabbings to cute widdle kittens, are getting MARRIED! Shall I say it again? Woohoo!

Many congratulations to ya both. Being married rules.

Don't deport him! We don't want him down here, either!

2005-03-24T15:39:00.000-06:00

Okay, well, I can't speak for the Honduran government. But if I could, that's what I'd say.

So, anyway, the Miami cops busted some gun-pusher. No, not gun-runner or gun-smuggler. Gun-pusher. Apparently this moron here was just strollin' along, pushing some guns down the street, in a shopping cart. Excuse me.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

inhales deeply

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Dude. Get a suitcase, or something. A duffel bag. Something. Don't put your guns in a shopping cart.

"But, officer- I just came from Wal-Mart, and they're having a 2-for-1 special on deuce-deuces! That's why they're still in the cart!"

"Son, if we were in the Panhandle, that'd be believable. But this is Miami."

Sorry, I just think that's really funny. Stupid ~~criminal~~ ~~gang member~~ terrorist.

Yeah. MS-13, this man's proud alma mater, is the same group of good-natured guys I mentioned here. And, uh, here. And here.

Well, I don't really have a lot to add, I just wanted to publicly laugh at this guy, and give ICE and the Miami PD props for bringing him in. Apparently they're dismantling this ~~gang~~terrorist organization with remarkable speed. Good job, fellas.

Side Note: I gotta keep up with my MS-13 bashing. Michelle Malkin's leaving me in her dust. But she still doesn't call them "terrorists"... maybe it's just me... hmm.

A Tribute for Terri

2005-03-23T10:31:00.000-06:00

I have remained rather mum on the travesty that is happening to Terri Schiavo. Partly because I haven't been posting much of anything, mostly because just about every blogger I read has said exactly what I would say. There has been a great deal of linkage flying around the 'sphere concerning Terri, so I haven't bothered to link to anybody in particular... until now.

Sir George has written a... can I give it justice... a freakin' AMAZING post about the whole issue. I consider myself a decent writer (when I show up) but there's no way I could say it better. In five short paragraphs he sums up everything that needs to be said. But I would like to add this tiny thing: The Constitution was never meant to be a death sentence to anyone in the name of rule of law. To die for freedom- noble and heroic. To be murdered over petty nuances- shameful... on the part of the murderers.

Go. Read now. If the screen starts getting blurry halfway through, it's not your monitor, just wipe your eyes.

(bugle plays "Taps")

2005-03-22T14:07:00.000-06:00

A sad day for milblogs.

sniff

Foxholes & Dogtags has been... er... suspended. Temporarily, I hope.

.........noooooooooooooooo............

But Incoherant Ramblings is still around. Yay! Goreadnow.

UPDATE, the next day: Hooray! It's back! ...slightly censored!

UPDATE to the UPDATE, a week later: It suddenly dawned on me today that while Risawn's main blog is on the 'roll, Foxholes is not. Time to fix that, eh.

Brad bad blogger.

2005-03-21T11:05:00.000-06:00

Brad bad blogger. Brad been busy. Busy bad. Brad been busting butt.

Okay, that last sentence isn't really true, but I was running out of alliteration and had to come up with something quick. I do have some stuff in mind to write, I just haven't gotten around to it. Time's flying- I can't believe it's been a week since I posted. Sheesh.

Put the blog down, and turn on the TV

2005-03-14T15:35:00.000-06:00

Hey! Why are you reading this? La Shawn is about to be on TV again, and I'm at work and might not get to see! So- put down the blog, and go turn on the TV, 'cuz I might need a report later on.

And in other news, it's a good thing only one-seventh of the world's days are Mondays.

Hooray for not knowing what month it is

2005-03-13T13:24:00.000-06:00

So... I posted this- complaining about the February heat- on March 8.

I'm so friggin' smooth.

Now, this doesn't change a thing as far as Honduras being ridiculously hot, be it February, March, or August on Mercury. Send me back to the land of ice and snow.

But I have to make sure that any false or flawed information that you, The Loyal Readers™, receive from me is corrected ASAP. I wouldn't want CBS to try and hire me.

Oh, and the link to the weather page is one of those new-fangled "self-updating" pages. Friggin' modern technology! So if you click on it when it's two in the morning here, and it says "67°", trust me, it was 99 that day. Still in the nineties now. Ugh. Hot. Brad no like.

That is all.

Give it a rest. Morons.

2005-03-12T16:42:00.000-06:00

Okay. Lemme get this straight. The PC Nazis are now targeting the Easter Bunny.

Dude. The friggin' Easter Bunny.

Not. Even. A. Religious. ...Anything!

The Easter Bunny is some made-up crap, people. If being affiliated with the Christian holiday of Easter- IN NAME ONLY!!!- offends you, piss off. You're a moron.

I suggest going after the Tooth Fairy next. It's about as relevant.

And Now:

The List of Holidays Slated for Destruction:
Easter- check.
Christmas- check.
Thanksgiving- check. (Mwheh.)
Mother's Day- unfair to male-led, dual-homosexual families.
Father's Day- unfair to female-led, dual-homosexual families.
Yom Kippur/Rosh Hashana/Passover/Hannukah- unfair to Muslims.
Ash Wednesday/Lent- unfair to Protestants.
Saint Patrick's Day- unfair to non-Irishmen.
New Year's Day- unfair to everyone in the world who does not use the Western calendar.
Valentine's Day/Sweetest Day- unfair to anyone not currently in love.
Labor Day- unfair to anyone without a job.
Secretaries' Day- unfair to entrepreneurs without secretaries.

Kwanzaa was considered for the list, but being "unfair to white people" was quickly deemed not PC enough.

Hat tip: Michelle Malkin

yay me!

2005-03-11T10:15:00.000-06:00

It's my birthday. Yay! I'm ~~old~~ ~~I forget~~ ~~I stopped counting after 21~~ ~~not a young buck any more~~ umm, 27. I think. Yeah.

Just thought you might like to know. Back to my regularly scheduled too-busy-to-blog mode.

UPDATE: This is kind of cool, the site meter went through 1978 (my birth year) on my birthday. Nifty. Plus it's about to hit 2,000. More yay...

bloggy word usage question

2005-03-10T13:22:00.001-06:00

Hey, The Readers™! I'm sure somebody knows the answer to this, 'cuz I see it everywhere. When a writer (usually a blogger) writes "(sic)" after a word, does that stand for "spelling incorrect"? Because usually it follows a misspelled word. ...but, sometimes it doesn't... hence my confusion. Any ideas?

two quick blabbings...

2005-03-08T14:54:00.000-06:00

Blabbing Number One. Holy Crap. Honduras is hot. Like hot HOT HOT!!! Like insanely not-in-a-good-way hot. Observe.

99°. Ninety-nine. Friggin'. Degrees.

In. February.

That's not right.

ugh.

Blabbing Number Two. This is funny. You should read it now. basil's The Mean Sister is officially keen. The only ones I can't figure out are Gulay and Dushay. Help?

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2005-03-04T08:20:00.000-06:00

oh wow. martha stewart's out of jail. i'm so excited. can't you tell? look. look at me being very interested in the fact that she's out of jail. look how much i care. please, i need to know every detail of her life now that she's out of jail. did i mention that martha stewart got out of jail? look at me being thrilled. no, look.

Oh, wait. I don't think I care. Sorry.

Tell it like it is, La Shawn!

2005-03-02T18:49:00.000-06:00

Well, I was blessed with seeing La Shawn Barber's introduction to international TV this afternoon, even though MSNBC forced me to watch a bunch of somethingorother about terrorism before they got to La Shawn. They shoulda had their priorities straight. Just a coupla things I'd like to comment on:

First of all- awww, Wonkette couldn't make it? That's too bad. Thank God.

Now to the Good Stuff:

First Keen La Shawn Quote: "I'm not following much of Hillary." BWAHAHA! She did mention a bit about Condi vs. Hillary ('08 is gonna rock, when the first black ever/first woman ever President is elected, and she's Republican) and Hillarywatch (never been there, checkin' it out now...) but she pretty much blew the Hillary question off. Heh. Brad like.

Second Keen La Shawn Quote: "I'm enjoying railing against him [~~Mad How~~Dean]." I say again: BWAHAHA! That cracked me up. Bust 'im out, La Shawn!

They asked her the token question about how she felt about being a female blogger (well, that was what the segment was about) and she responded by setting them straight. Don't have a direct quote this time, but she made it clear that being a female blogger isn't really what puts her in the minority. It's being an ~~African-American~~ (she hates that word too! I thought I was the only one! sweet!) black, conservative, Christian woman that sets her apart, and that she blogs about not only politics, but her faith as well. Boy, I 'bout stood up and cheered.

Anyway, as far as female bloggers go, I really don't see much of a gender gap in the blogosphere. (Yeah! Blogosphere, Ron! What's wrong with that word?!) Lemme put it like this. Obviously La Shawn is cool. My favorite blogger to get information from is Michelle Malkin. But I do have a complaint- she writes too much, I can't keep up. The best storyteller I know in the 'sphere is SarahK. Favorite milblogger? Risawn, in Kosovo. And I spend most of my bloggy time, not here, but over at Original Musings. Shoot, almost half my blogroll is female. So I think that's a silly question. But that's just my 2¢.